The Lawhinie Cases
Case One: The Copper Capone Caper
Chapter One: Commencement
All was quiet at Ranger Headquarters. Well, fairly quiet. There was some buzzing from Zipper, some bubbling from the kitchen, some tinkering from the workshop, some particularly loud cartoons from the TV, and the soft sound of pages turning as Chip quietly read The Case of the Conan Doily again.
But, for the moment, the rangers had no cases and were taking the rest of the day off. After all, as Dale pointed out, it is kind of hard to go out looking for new cases after you've just prevented the destruction of the entire city - even if he'd sat out for most of that adventure.
That, of course, had not been enough to convince Chip. However, Gadget had had the opportunity to look over a database from the future, and there were no cases requiring their attention due for a while. (It is true that the database had been from a future that never happened; but nonetheless, it had almost happened.)
And so the rangers relaxed, each in their own way, quietly passing the afternoon...
"Wowie-zowie! Yowie! Did you see that!"
...or, in one case, noisily passing the afternoon.
Of course, this sort of setting seems to attract cases like moths to a flame.
The door slammed back, revealing a Hawaiian mouse in a blue dress with a flower in her hair.
"He wasn't there." Lawhinie announced.
"Sam probably threw him against the wall fairly hard." responded Chip, not looking up. "Did you take a look around the museum?"
"Yes. Like I said, he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere."
"Maybe" suggested Dale "he was kidnapped by mousenapping aliens from outer space. Like him!" He pointed at a figure on the TV screen.
"Maybe", responded Chip, "he lost track of time, and had left by the time you got to your meeting point."
Lawhinie crossed her arms and frowned. "I don't see why. I was only a couple of hours late."
"Well, there you have it." said Chip. "Maybe he got bored and wandered off."
Lawhinie frowned harder. "Shaka Baka hasn't been bored in his whole life. I tell you, he's been mousenapped. But not by aliens, because they don't exist."
Chip sighed, and put a bookmark in his book. "That's where you're wrong. We've met two types already. True, neither of them seemed particularly anxious to kidnap mice, but there's nothing preventing a third species from popping up."
Lawhinie held the frown. She was used to guys saying anything to impress her, and didn't believe Chip for one moment. "He's been kidnapped by someone, anyway. Now, are you going to do the rescue rangering, or not?"
Chip sighed again. "I suppose we can take a look around. Dale?" He raised his voice. "Monty? Zipper? Gadget?"
The kitchen door opened, and the large Australian mouse appeared, together with the fly. "This 'ad better be quick, me cheese chowder is on the boil an' I can't leave it long."
Similarly, Gadget was disinclined to conference. "I'm making progress on those cellphone modifications, Chip. I'd rather carry on there."
Dale kept quiet, until Chip turned his cartoon off. "Hey! I was watching that!"
"We have a case." said Chip, quietly.
"Golly! Ziggy's database didn't have any unexplained happenings until next Tuesday, when the gold started vanishing from the bank!"
"I know." said Chip. "But it seems" - he glared at Lawhinie - "that a certain surfer mouse has gone missing. And that wouldn't go into Ziggy's database, would it?"
"I guess not..."
"So we're going to have a look around the area, just to see if there is any evidence of foul play."
"D'ya mean fouler than knockin' out our Gadget an' tryin' ta replace 'er?" enquired Monty.
"Honestly, people, I said I was sorry."
"So ya did, lass, so ya did. I'm still waitin' ta see what yer actions say."
"Monty?" said Chip. "Calm down. Fighting Lawhinie here isn't going to help at all."
Monty settled slightly. "Yeah, you're right."
"Let's go, then. Rescue Rangers - Away!"
The rangers charged off towards the RangerPlane - sortof.
First, everyone except Lawhinie (who wasn't sure where to charge to) charged. Then Gadget came back to fetch her. Then a wisp of smoke escaped from the kitchen, and with a despairing cry of "Me cheese chowder!" Monty ran into the kitchen, where he found that the cheese chowder had (fortunately) only just started to burn. Then everyone hurried to the ranger plane, only to find that Dale was not there. On returning, Chip found him again watching his cartoon, and bonked him. Once they were all in the hanger, they found that the RangerPlane did not have enough seats to include Lawhinie as well. Fortunately, this was easily solved; Gadget piloted the RangerPlane (which also included Chip and Zipper) and Monty piloted the RangerWing (carrying Dale and Lawhinie).
Somehow, Monty had the strong impression that Chip's hurriedly instructed seating plans had been the result of a lot more thought than they had looked like at the time...
Chapter Two: Cluehunt
Being a good deal faster, the RangerWing arrived at the museum first, followed by the RangerPlane a few minutes later.
A brief search for clues resulted in a few problems at first (none of the rangers were quite sure where Shaka Baka had hit the wall, although Lawhinie did point out the place where Sam had been tied up; moreover, the room outside had just been mopped) but some searching found a mouse living in the building, who was able to give an eyewitness account when Dale and Zipper found him. (Chip and Gadget were looking for clues on the other side of the room, while Monty kept an eye on Lawhinie as Lawhinie tried to guess Shaka Baka's most probable actions).
"There was this big mouse, right, an' this girl. An' she was carrying another girl - I think they were twins or somethin'. Anyroad, she was out cold, an' the two o'them tied 'er up and then the awake one went off an' the big guy sat down ta' guard the other one. An' then - yer not gonna believe me, but I swear I'll remember this till my dyin' day - the other girl woke up, snapped 'er ropes an' threw the big guy across the room. 'E hit the wall roight there, 'e did. Well, after that I wasn' gonna get in 'er way, that's fer sure. I never even seen a mouse that strong. I mean, she just picked 'im up like 'e was a feather or somethin'. And threw 'im. Well, 'e was out cold for 'bout an hour, and then 'e' comes to an 'eads into that tunnel over there. 'E was weavin' from side ta side a little, like 'e was a little dizzy, but there weren't no ways I was going anywhere close to 'im. I didn' want that mouse that threw 'im angry wit' me, no way, no how. Cause, y'know, she was talkin' ta someone who wasn' there, and that means she 'ad a few loose toys in the attic, an' that means she could go plumb crazy any moment an' I'd 'ate ta be around if that 'appens, I would. If'n I see so much as a 'air o' that mouse, I'm gonna be hightailing it outta 'ere, trust me on that. I know when I'm outmatched, I do."
Gadget and Chip, having finished their search, came up behind the mouse as he was talking.
"Hey, Chip!" said Dale. "This fella saw it all!"
"Golly!" said Gadget. "An eyewitness!"
The mouse turned, and saw who had spoken; and immediately took the wrong meaning of her words. Showing an impressive turn of speed, he bolted - only to almost run into Lawhinie as he turned a corner. With a scream, he turned and showed that his previous impressive turn of speed was, in fact, not his top speed.
"What did I say?" asked Gadget.
"What's up with him?" was Lawhinie's question, as she and Monty approached the point where the rest of the rangers had gathered.
Zipper's response was a sort of buzzing shrug, while Dale professed complete ignorance with a simple "I dunno. But he said Shaka went that-a-way.".
Shortly afterwards, the rangers had followed the tunnel Shaka had entered (the tunnel being out of range of the mop, not to mention very dusty, they had been able to track him through the building) until it reached a disused storeroom inside the museum. There, the tracks showed, someone else (probably more than one someone else) had been passing, dragging something which made it hard to see how many of them there were or what sort of creatures they had been. It seemed that, on seeing them, Shaka had hurried towards them and they had put down their burden for a while. (It appeared to be a roll of copper cabling, partially from the marks on the ground but mainly because there was a caretaker wandering around looking for a roll of copper cabling that he could have sworn had been there that morning.) Then, it seemed, Shaka had decided to help them move their heavy burden.
As Chip pointed out, "There's no sign of a fight, and no sign that he did not go willingly. Shaka's a big fellow; if they'd tried to force him to go with them, there would have been some sign of a fight. Therefore, he went willingly, and was not mousenapped. Happy?"
"No" said Lawhinie. "He'd never want to leave me, after all."
Chip sighed. "I can think of several reasons why he would. I'm not really sure that this case is worth following up; chances are he's wherever he is by choice. And we're going to have to deal with that bank robbery in a few days, anyway. Come on, everyone, let's head back."
Lawhinie stamped her foot. "And leave Shaka to his fate?"
"Chipper's got a point, lass. Whatever fate he's heading for, it's a fate he chose himself. If he had been mousenapped, there'd be some sign of it around here someplace."
"What if he just decided to help them carry, and then they mousenapped him later?" asked Lawhinie.
"Look," said Chip, "if you want to look for clues around here, feel welcome. I don't think you'll find him, and I very much doubt that he went anywhere against his will anyway. But we're a long way from the planes, so how about this; me and Gadget will head up to the roof and bring the planes down to ground level, while the rest of you follow the trail out of the building. If you find anything that looks suspicious before then, you can point it out when you get outside. But if you don't, then we're all going back to headquarters after that, right?"
"Too roight - me cheese chowder is waiting."
Chip and Gadget began to head back on their trail. Lawhinie glowered at Chip's retreating back for a few moments, before Zipper's buzzing attracted her attention. The fly bowed, and politely indicated that the lady was to go first. Lawhinie did so with a "hmph!" and a nose in the air.
Dale and Monty looked at each other, shrugged, and followed her, pointing out politely when she went straight and the trail turned to the left.
Chapter Three: Casedrop
"Golly! Look down there!"
Chip, in the RangerPlane, looked in the direction that Gadget (in the RangerWing) was pointing. It seemed that there was a mass exodus of rodent life from the museum below them.
"You wait up here. I'll go down and see why everyone's running." he called back.
Landing near a fleeing mouse, Chip went directly to the point. "Why are you all running away?"
"Aliens!" cried the mouse. I know a fellow who saw this alien mouse, he lived right next door to me, right, and he saw this alien mouse, and then this bunch of rodents came and were asking questions, and then the alien mouse came, and it turned out that they were looking for eyewitnesses to eliminate all records that they had ever been there, and they had two of the alien mice with them! And all the aliens look exactly the same!"
"Really?" said Chip, in a flat, monotonic tone that simultaneously suggested profound disbelief and reduced panic in most rodents.
"Yes, really! He only just got away with his life! Can't hang around, you never know if the aliens are catching up..."
Aliens? mused Chip. Well, it's not as if it would be the first time...
It was then that he realised what had really happened.
Oh dear, having Lawhinie around is turning into a real problem already...
Gadget landed off his port wing. "So, what's happening?"
Chip turned to her. "You'll never believe me..."
---------------------
Off on the other side of the museum, a young man with a pistol (and a valid license to carry one, which he had shown to three policemen so far) was also studying the rodent exodus. "I wonder what they're running from... it's probably just in our range, and we'll gain at least a little bit of glamour from defeating it..."
The young lady next to him glanced at a device on her wrist. "There's a lot of glamour sources in that museum. None really stand out - on the one hand, we should prevail against whateveritis, but on the other hand, we can't track it on this thing until we locate it."
---------------------
"That's odd" commented Dale. "You'd expect to find mice living in here."
"Yep." agreed Monty. "And there were, not too long ago."
"Wowie! How can you tell?"
Monty poked a very small "For Sale" sign. "Paint's still wet."
"Bzzzz'z ztzzz bzzz-bzzzzzzt bzzzz bz zbzz bz bzzzz tzbzzz."
"And Zipper 'ere says that the tables have half-finished meals on them, too."
"Really?" said Dale, brightening up. The meal back at headquarters that they hadn't eaten yet was bothering him. "D'ya think they'll mind it we just - sortof - tidy up a little?"
"Bzzz! Bzz'zz bzt zzbbzzzt tz tzzz bzzzz bzzbzz'z bzzt!"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Oi say we just keeps followin' this trail out o' the museum, and then go 'ome to some nice, cold cheese chowder.
Lawhinie looked at Zipper, incredulously. "You can understand that buzzing?"
"It's an art, lassie. Ya gotta learn it. An' Shaka turned right 'ere."
Monty pointed to a mouse-sized exit from the museum. "Still no sign of a fight." said Dale. "Now can we go and have lunch?"
The RangerPlane and RangerWing landed right next to them. Chip leaned out of the 'Plane.
"You'll never believe what we just saw. Do you know why all the rodents left the museum?"
"Passing chuh-huh-heeeese truck?"
"Bz bztzzzzzztzz bzzzzzd?"
"Who cares?"
"Because the aliens from another dimension stole them out of their very homes? Huh? Huh? Huhuhuh?"
"Nope." said Chip. "Remember that mouse we talked to earlier? He thought that Gadget and Lawhinie were aliens taking over the world. He's caused a bit of panic."
There were a few moments of silence while the rangers considered this.
"Blimey! 'E must be crazier than a - "
"Wowie!" Dale jumped over to Gadget. "Are you really an alien? Are you? Huh? Huhuhuh?"
Gadget sighed. "No, Dale, I'm not."
"Ah-ha! Gotcha!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what you'd say if you were an alien pretending to be Gadget!"
Chip, who had come up behind Dale, bonked him on the head. "Find any more clues?"
"Not one." said Monty. "All we know is 'e came out this entrance, still perfectly willingly."
"Not yet." said Lawhinie.
"Well, then." responded Chip. "We're going back to headquarters. Monty, you, Dale and Lawhinie take the RangerPlane. Me and Gadget will take the RangerWing with Zipper."
Lawhinie turned an angry glare on Chip. "You don't mean to say you're just going to leave Shaka Baka to his fate?"
Chip shrugged. "It looks to me like he decided to leave of his own free will. I don't see any case in that."
Monty nodded. "'E's got a point."
Lawhinie looked around for support, from anyone.
She failed to find it.
"Coming, lass?" asked Monty.
She folded her arms. "No. I know something happened to Shaka, and I am going to find him!"
Chip shrugged. "Well, you know the way back to HQ, and the drag marks of the copper cabling are pretty clear. When you're done chasing wild geese, you can make your way back."
The two ranger vehicles took off, and headed off for lunch. (Dale's voice was audible enquiring "What wild geese, where? I don't see any wild geese...") Lawhinie frowned at them for a moment, before her stomach rumbled.
"Oh, not you too!"
Chapter Four: Capture
"Y'know, Chip, I'm not sure that leaving Lawhinie alone there was a good idea. She could run into all sorts of trouble."
Chip turned to face Gadget. "The problem is that, until recently, she was quite willing to take the Rangers apart to get that diamond, and I'm still not sure she won't do it again."
Gadget frowned. "So, you just left her behind?"
"No! No, I'm just worried that Shaka Baka might be back at headquarters, setting something up. A net trap or something, perhaps."
"Bzzz? Zbzzzt Bz bz bzzz bz bzz bz bzz?"
"Yes, that's a good idea, Zipper. I should have thought of that myself."
Gadget continued to frown for a few moments, but didn't turn the RangerWing around. Instead, she accelerated...
...leaving the RangerPlane, and now Zipper too, far behind.
"Wowie-zowie! Gadget must be really hungry!"
"Bzzbzbzz zzt bz bzzzzz bz bzz, bzzzt?"
"Zipper! Didn't see you there. What's up?"
"Bzzz bzzzt bz tz bzzz bz bzz bz Bzzzzzzz bzz bz bzzzz."
"Roighty then. We'll try ta save some lunch for ya, then."
-------------------
"Idiots" muttered Lawhinie. "Don't know why I thought they had any chance of helping me get that diamond. I'll find Shaka, and we'll fetch it out of the museum ourselves..."
She pushed through the lawn to a storm grating. "Down here? Well, if it's down here that Shaka went, then it's down here that I'll go..."
-------------------
In the museum, two people were acting slightly oddly Specifically, they were lying flat on the ground, peering under the brontosaurus skeleton.
"Are you sure it's down here?"
"Well, every other glamour source in the museum is either staff or visitors. It's the last one left."
Gary Stu peered closer, and blew at the ground. With a buzzing noise, a single fly took off.
Mary checked the glamour radar strapped to her wrist. "Well, that's every last one checked out. Whatever it caused the rodent exodus must have left itself."
Gary nodded. "Unless one of the visitors or staff had something to do with it."
-------------------
Lawhinie was not moving at all stealthily. She was, in fact, complaining almost endlessly about the sewers and what they were doing to her appearance.
Her appearance was not helped by the net that suddenly captured her, either.
A short rat came round the corner, accompanied by a large rat and a lizard. "Well, well, well! Look what the net dragged in!"
Lawhinie looked at the gangster. "Who are you? Do you know what this net is DOING to my FUR?"
"Now, now, I was thinkin' of givin' you another oppurtunity ta be my moll, cause I'm a sucker for a pretty face. But fergettin' me like that was not a good move, lady."
"Yeah!" said the large rat. "It was pretty stupid, too!"
"Forgetting you?" asked Lawhinie. "I'm just looking for Shaka Baka - he was helping someone carry some copper cabling..."
"So that's 'is name, is it? Well, now you're really outta luck, lady, 'cause he's got complete amnesia and I ain't lettin' you give 'im 'is memories back. Sugar Ray, go fetch... the nut."
"Yeah, and he can't remember anything, either!"
The lizard trotted off, returning a moment later with a metal nut tied to a piece of string.
"Now, y'see lady, when you was my moll everything was fine. But when I found out you was just pretendin' the whole time - well, I didn' like that one bit. So now, I'm gonna toss yer in the sewer with this little anklet, see?"
"Yeah, and drown yer, too!"
Chapter Five: Convergence
Sugar Ray was holding Lawhinie's ankle still, so that Mouseneggar could tie the nut to it, when they heard the buzzing... faint at first, but growing louder...
"Hey, what's that noise?"
Sugar Ray stepped back, away from the very edge of the sewer, in order to listen better.
"Sounds like... LUNCH!"
But the approaching fly was not planning on heading for the lizard; he struck Capone in the stomach instead, causing him to lose his balance and fall into the sewer.
"Kepluuugh! Get that fly!"
Zipper, hovering out of reach of the gang, stuck out his tongue and put his thumbs in his ears. "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"
"Er... how, boss?" enquired Mouseneggar.
"Throw something, you idiots!" Capone began to pull himself out of the sewer.
Mouseneggar, never one to question the boss, threw the first thing at hand... the nut. Zipper dived to the side, and the nut struck the wall of the sewer, bouncing back to fall in the centre. "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"
"Not that, you idiot!"
There was a moment of silence before Capone spoke again.
"You two, keep an eye on the prisoner. Don't let her escape. Don't worry about the fly unless he comes close; if he does, don't let him release her. I'm going to go and fetch the bolt and see how our new guy is doing with the slaves." Zipper, who was marching back and forth and doing little dances in midair, naturally caught every word. Moments after Capone left, he gave Lawhinie an encouraging buzz which she completely failed to understand, and left through a nearby storm grating.
Lawhinie, not quite understanding why Zipper had won her a temporary reprieve, nonetheless had her own ways of taking advantage of it.
"Tell me", she asked Mouseneggar, "why does a big strong fellow like you take orders from a little scrawny fellow like him?"
"Er... because he's the boss."
"Yes?" purred Lawhinie. "And why aren't you the boss?"
"Errr...."
"You should learn to stand up for yourself, that's what."
"Errrrr........ you got something in your eye?"
Sugar Ray's tail caught her from behind. "Shuddup! Rules say that prisoners are not allowed to talk!"
Stunned by the blow, Lawhinie was momentarily unable to reply.
--------------------
"HQ certainly looks clear." said Chip. "That means that something might have happened to Shaka Baka. It's probably a good idea to go and find Zipper, and hear his report."
Dale looked shocked. "But what about lunch? Monty's cheese chowder is going to be cold."
"And what about Zipper?"
"Zippercantakecareofhimself."
"Whatifhe'srunintoasituationhecan'thandlehimself?"
"Wedon'thavetimetoargueaboutthis!We'reheadingoutrightnow!"
--------------------
The result of the argument from the point on can probably be inferred; Dale and Monty were in the RangerPlane (together with the pot of cheese chowder, which Monty had grabbed at the last minute as "in-flight rations") while Chip and Gadget were in the RangerWing. Before they even reached the museum, though, they reached a frantic Zipper.
"Bzztz! Tzzzz bzzzzzzz bzz'zz bzzz! Bzzzzzzz'z bzzz bzbtzzzt bz Bzt Bzbzzz bzt bz'z bz bzz zbzzzz bzt-"
"Whoa, slow down, pally! Rat Capone, ya say?"
"Bz bzt bz bzt bzt bz bz bzz tzzzzz!"
"Well, oi couldn't think of a better pair ta run inta each other."
"Monty!" remonstrated Chip, from the other plane. "There's a rodent in deadly danger down there!"
Monty sighed. "Yeah, and we've gotta rescue 'er. I don' think I'm gonna like that bit, though."
--------------------
Rat Capone returned to find his two lieutenants shouting at each other.
"So what if I just made it up?" Sugar Ray was yelling. "Prisoners DO NOT TALK!"
"You're just jealous 'cause she said I was handsome!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?"
A hush descended over the sewer. Sugar Ray and Mouseneggar looked guiltily at Capone. Lawhinie quickly replaced her nail file in her pocket and tried to pretend that two strands of the net had not been cut through.
"Right." said Capone. "I can see that the sooner we toss this one inta the sewer, the better. Sugar Ray, you hold her ankle still, I'll tie the bolt on myself."
"Er... why? Do you want to go swimming, too?"
Capone frowned at Mouseneggar. Lawhinie leaned towards the burly mouse. "Why don't you-"
WHAP! Sugar Ray's tail hit her again. Her expression of rage was terrible to see; but it was gone in a moment, replaced by one of pain. "I think... he broke something..." she gasped, faking pain as hard as she could.
There was a whirring sound, echoing around the sewer...
Sugar Ray grasped Lawhinie's ankle, holding it still...
"Owowowowowow!"
The whirring noise increased in volume...
"Alright, Mouseneggar, release the net."
"Er... why?"
"Because if I tie this thing on first, the net's gonna get all tangled in it and we'll lose a perfectly good net, that's why."
"Er... right."
Mouseneggar released the net.
The whirring noise was really loud now, although with all the echoes it was hard to tell where it was coming from.
"What is that noi-"
There was a very crowded moment. If there had been an observer, on the other side of the sewer perhaps, he would have had to replay the scene in his mind to make any sense of it. But what he would have observed would be a rodent-sized VTOL aircraft, it's wings barely fitting in the sewer, skimming along at an almost certainly unsafe speed; a plunger being fired; and then the aircraft, Lawhinie, Sugar Ray Lizard, and Arnold Mouseneggar were all gone.
Mouseneggar was easy to locate; he was only a few metres along, still holding onto Sugar Ray's tail, which had come off in his hands. He looked at the appendage in amazement.
Sugar Ray's comment on that was not complimentary - "You idiot! It'll take me months to grow that back!" - but went unheard because he was still holding onto Lawhinie's leg, and Lawhinie's head was attached to a plunger.
Chip looked down the rope towards Lawhinie. "We've got an extra passenger here."
"Not to worry." responded Gadget. "This next corner should take care of him."
The RangerWing spun into a side passage, slamming Sugar Ray into the wall. Losing his grip, he fell off. Shortly afterwards, he sat up and shook his head. "Owww..."
Lawhinie, not quite feeling up to speed with current developments, was pulled into one of the rear seats just before another corner was turned.
Chapter Six: Confusion
It was a few minutes later, on the roof of a suitably remote high-rise building, that Monty and Dale noticed the approaching RangerWing. The VTOL craft landed near to the RangerPlane, and Chip, Gadget, Zipper and a somewhat confused Lawhinie exited.
"Can someone tell me what's going on?"
"We were hoping you could." said Chip. "Did Rat Capone mention anything?"
"No - not - wait, how did you find me? And why? And..."
Chip sighed. He would have preferred to skip this part. "I made a mistake. I thought you might have been trying to draw us out of HQ so that Shaka could do something in HQ. I'm sorry; I'd like to apologise."
Lawhinie blinked. She hadn't expected that, although now that he mentioned it, she could see that the idea had... possibilities...
She made a mental note to be very, very careful if attempting to outwit Chip. "Er... thanks... I think..."
"Zipper went along to follow you and see what happened. When he saw you captured, he took what action he could to delay your captors and then went for help."
And another thing, I'd have to find some way to make sure the fly isn't on my trail thought Lawhinie.
"So... did you find out anything about what happened to Shaka? Besides that he's got amnesia and is currently working for Rat Capone as a result."
"What?" asked Lawhinie. "How did you -"
Chip shrugged. "Zipper's got good ears. Anything else?"
Lawhinie shook her head. "No."
Chip nodded decisively. "Then our first priority is to rescue the slaves, our second is to rescue Shaka Baka."
"This is what we'll do..."
-----------------
It took Sugar Ray nearly an hour to make it back, despite the fact that he was, miraculously, uninjured beyond a light bruising. (This had a lot to do with the moss that had been growing on the wall at the point where he had slammed into it.) When he returned, Capone was in a terrible temper. He was forcing the slaves to dig faster and work harder; with Sugar Ray's help, he knocked up the pressure on them even more. The fact that the mouse had escaped worried him; after their previous two meetings, the Rescue Rangers were very worrying to him, and although he knew that his gang could beat them in a straight fistfight (more so now that Shaka was working for him), they still had an annoying tendency to step in his plans and ruin them.
This plan was supposed to be foolproof; an important consideration in any enterprise which included Mouseneggar.
But, so far, none of Capone's plans had proven Rangerproof; a fact that was causing him some disquiet.
So when, a few minutes later, a mouse in a Hawaiian costume with a flower in her hair could be heard calling out in the sewers: "Helloooooo? Anyone theeeeere?" he left Shaka to look after the slaves, and went with Mouseneggar and Sugar Ray after the sound. Lawhinie was easy to spot, standing near a side passage with her back to them. "Hellooooooo?" She wandered off into the side passage at a slow walk as Capone and his two henchmen closed in; she reached the corner only a half a minute before the three criminals carefully peered around (Capone was cautious of a possible trap) only to see...
...nothing. The sewer in front of them was empty; the mouse had vanished.
"Helloooooooo!" The cry came from substantially further down the sewer, and on the opposite side. A Hawaiian-costumed mouse emerged from a distant side-passage. "Anyone around?"
Capone stared, looked back at the empty corridor, and back again at the distant mouse.
"Hey, boss, how'd she do that?"
"Shuddup and get her!"
As the criminal rodents began to pursue Gadget, Lawhinie, hanging on to a plunger stuck to the ceiling, breathed a small sigh of relief. Gadget was in no real danger; the RangerPlane was hidden around the corner (as was Monty, just in case), and she would be long gone by the time Capone got there, leaving only a lingering mystery. She headed off to see how the rescue of the slaves was going, and to see Shaka Baka again. Her next part of the plan would come in the next mission, to try to restore Shaka's memories.
She didn't notice Capone's sudden stop as he realised that the whole thing was a distraction. Leaving his goons to try to capture Gadget, the crime boss turned and ran back to check on the slaves.
-------------------
"They're slaves!" said Chip. "Of course they don't want to be here! What did you think the chains were for?"
"They're convicted criminals working out their sentences!" responded Shaka.
"No, we're not!" chorused the slaves.
"And who told you that?" asked Chip. "Did he show you any form of ID?"
"ID?" Shaka looked confused for a moment. "What's - you stop that now!" He pointed at Zipper, whose attempt to sneak around behind him had not gone unnoticed.
Unfortunately, Shaka was enough of a match for Chip, Dale, and Zipper together that even if they did manage to subdue him, Capone would be back long before they could, leaving reasoning with the burly mouse as the only alternative. But it was not going well; already they had, Chip estimated, used up half their time.
Then there was, suddenly, a swishing noise, something like surf on a beach. Shaka turned, and acting on instinct that went below memory, ran towards the sound.
Chip, not being one to question good fortune, immediately began to cut the slaves loose.
--------------------
There was a thump as Shaka ran straight into Capone. "What are you doing here?" cried Capone. "What about the prisoners?"
Shaka blinked. "Errr.... I heard... something.... sortof swishing noise.... it seemed to call to something inside me... I know I'd heard that sound before... somewhere..."
"Yeah? Well, quit the memory quest and come back ta do yer duties as a guard!"
"And there were two chipmunks and a fly back there who said the prisoners were slaves."
Capone frowned. "T'ose t'ree? They were prisoners, once, but they escaped - they're probably back to break the rest out! We gotta get back and make sure the prisoners don't escape! There's murderers in that lot, there are!"
The two headed back, in time to see that the 'prisoners' were indeed gone, with only a few broken lengths of chain to be seen.
--------------------
There was a thump as Sugar Ray and Mouseneggar, returning from an unsuccessful pursuit, ran straight into Lawhinie. The scuffle was brief, the outcome certain...
...and, shortly afterwards, the Hawaiian mouse was Capone's only slave.
Of course, she tried refusing to do any work. But, as Capone pointed out, that sort of attitude would bring her straight into the electric chair that he had built from the purloined copper wire.
Chapter Seven: Comeback
Chip stopped, panting. The slaves had dispersed into the numerous minor tunnels and passages in the sewers, and he was pretty sure that none of them would be easily caught again. It appeared that he, Dale, and Zipper were the first to reach the rally point; odd, he would've expected Gadget, Monty, and Lawhinie to beat them there comfortably.
Gadget and Monty were only a few seconds later, Gadget still in the "Hawaiian" disguise. But of Lawhinie, there was no sign... something which Chip noticed immediately.
"Where's Lawhinie?"
"Oh, golly, this is terrible - she's been captured by Rat Capone - and - "
"He's going to drown her?" asked Chip.
"No, she's his only slave at the moment, he's still trying to dig into that bank vault - " Gadget paused. "Do you know how disturbing it is to see someone who looks exactly like you being threatened with an electric chair? Although, of course, the fact that it is more disturbing simply due to a physical similarity is really rather interesting, from a psychological point of view, but given that it's my psychology, I still find the whole thing really quite disturbing, although I suppose none of you do, as none of you look exactly like - mmmph."
"We get the point, Gadget."
-------------------
"Shaka! Help me!"
"Mousinator! Why did you let the prisoners escape! You come this way! Arnold, Sugar Ray, make sure she works hard, I wanna get that tunnel done!"
Shaka thought the muscular mus musculus. Where have I heard that name before - it sounds sort of familiar... she looks sort of familiar, too... those chains look wrong...
"Remember your surfmmmmph!" Sugar Ray slammed a paw over Lawhinie's mouth.
Surf...surf... THAT'S IT! That's what that sound was - surf! "I remember now! It's all coming back to me!" cried Shaka Baka, triumphantly.
Ten minutes later, he was in chains next to Lawhinie, with Sugar Ray and Mouseneggar prodding him and Lawhinie with golden forks to make them work harder.
"Why couldn't you have just kept quiet and hit them over the head when they weren't looking?" groused Lawhinie.
"Hey, you know me, baby. I've never really liked the idea of violence."
Lawhinie's next words were, perhaps fortunately, inaudible.
-------------------
"That shelia's tried ta destroy us more'n once!"
"That's true, Monty, but she's now in trouble and we are going to rescue her. Anyone got a plan that doesn't involve anyone else being captured?"
"We're going to have to take down that tunnel, too." said Gadget.
"No problem, mates. Jes tak' a nice, long piece o'string, tie it to all the pit props, an' pull real hard."
Gadget nodded. "Should work. But we'll need to get Lawhinie and Shaka out of there first."
"Oooh! Oooh!" Dale jumped up and down in excitement. "I've still got that disguise I used last time!"
Gadget shook her head. "Now, Dale, trying that again would be really disturbing, even though I don't look like you."
"Bzztzz! Bzz bz bzzt bz bz bz..."
-------------------
"I broke a nail! I broke a nail!"
"Yeah?" growled Mouseneggar. "So what?"
-------------------
Now Mary Sue and Gary Stu were walking around the museum with a pet mouse in a cage. So far, none of the guests or staff of the museum (nor the fly) had proven to be a mouse repellent. Yet, the glamour radar had shown all the mice leave the building amazingly quickly.
While Gary tried the pet mouse test (which was more successful in repelling rodent-phobic ladies than anything else) Mary fiddled with the settings on the Glamour Radar Mark II, trying to figure out what they did...
-------------------
Sugar Ray and Rat Capone were standing at the mouth of the tunnel, looking over a map. "I don' like this situation, Boss."
"I don' like it either, but if we don' get the payment ta Mikey before this evening the sewers are gonna be very unfriendly to us the next time we fall in."
"An' I don' think those two can dig fast enough." continued Sugar Ray.
"Ya think I don' know that? An' with these rangers around, our only hope is to hope some more slaves turn up before..."
"Yoo-hoo!"
A Hawaiian mouse with a flower in her hair waved at them from down the passageway, before retreating slowly out of sight down a side passage.
Capone and Sugar Ray stared with eyes wide and jaws almost touching the floor.
"How... did she... get there... we were blocking the tunnel the whole time..."
"Shuddup and go get her! MOUSENEGGAR! Get yourself out here right now! The girlmouse escaped, and you're gonna get 'er back!"
--------------------
Lawhinie nodded. "It's true. I escaped. I'm out there right now."
Mouseneggar blinked. He didn't quite have the ability to deal with this situation. But Rat Capone's voice called "MOUSENEGGAR!" again, and he followed the call.
--------------------
As Mouseneggar went by to pursue Gadget, Capone took his golden fork and went up the tunnel to ensure that the slaves kept digging.
Chapter Eight: Collapse
Without his tail, Sugar Ray was off-balance and slightly slowed. Nonetheless, he had a large lead on Mouseneggar; but by the time they reached the corner Gadget had gone around, Mouseneggar had almost caught up.
There was a thump as a large and heavy box (upside-down, naturally) trapped them.
"Bullseye!" cried Dale, from on top of the box. "We got 'em good! Whummmmph!"
"Quiet!" hissed Chip. "Capone's still out there, remember?"
"Don't worry so much, Chip." added Monty. "Without these two goons, oi'm more'n a match for that crimelord!"
-----------------
The crimelord in question was, at that point, in no state to think up complex plans. He had just reached the end of the tunnel and found that Lawhinie was still there; this, on top of the fact that he had just seen what he thought was her outside where she couldn't have been was having strange effects on his brain; it felt like it was slowly being turned into oatmeal, a fact which Lawhinie was quick to recognise and capitalise on.
She did this by kicking him in the stomach and grabbing his weapon. Normally, she would have had to spend some time reducing his thought processes to abysmal before this step; having it happen instantly like that was certainly a benefit.
So, when the Rescue Rangers ran up the tunnel, Lawhinie and Shaka Baka were running down the tunnel, Lawhinie armed with Capone's golden fork (rather bent after Shaka had used it to break their chains) and Shaka armed with nothing at all. When the two groups met, Shaka looked at Lawhinie, looked at Gadget, glanced at the other rangers, and got very worried indeed...
"Where's Capone?" asked Gadget.
"Up there, out cold." Lawhinie indicated the direction they'd come from.
"Right. Get out of the tunnel, we're going to collapse it."
The rangers continued up-tunnel. Shaka looked back at them, and then at Lawhinie. "Whoa... how many years was I out?"
Lawhinie's eyes narrowed in anger. "You watch your mouth, surfer boy!"
Shaka shook his head. "No, I mean - they're not mad at you for trying to use them to get the Gadgidla Diamond? They must've had a long time to cool off, that's all. Seriously, you don't look a day older, I mean it."
Lawhinie relaxed somewhat. "Let's just say... I cut a deal with them."
"Whoa... I've gotta be dreaming here."
"It was that or my death, okay?"
"Right. You're gonna need to fill me in sometime when we're not standing in a collapsing tunnel."
-----------------
Mary had located an "alignment" setting on the Glamour Radar. It showed yellow for most people, blue for heroes, and red for villains. (And, according to the key, purple for mad scientists. No purple spots were in evidence in the museum).
Mary and Gary were showing as a very yellowish green. There were no real reds (although there was one slightly orangey-yellow one which kept brushing past yellow spots, temporarily becoming slightly redder every time it did so).
-----------------
The mouth of the tunnel was quiet until Shaka and Lawhinie stepped out. They were followed by Chip and Dale, who were carrying an apparently still-unconscious Capone (who had woken up but wisely decided not to let anyone know this considering how badly he was outnumbered) and accompanied by Zipper.
Around ten rather tense minutes later (Shaka didn't know whether he should be preparing for a fight, a retreat, or something else entirely, so he compromised by backing off to a position near some heavy pieces of wood suitable for weapons and far enough for a slight headstart in a retreat - he became rather more nervous when Chip pointed out the location of the box containing Sugar Ray and Mouseneggar) Monty and Gadget came out unreeling a piece of string.
"Roighty, then, everyone grab 'old" commanded Monty "an' we'll 'ave this tunnel down in two shakes of a dingo's tail."
A little bit of heaving later (and a comment by Chip about 'arthritic dingoes') and there was a series of snaps as the pit props (to which the string had been tied) began to give way. The tunnel collapsed, releasing a large cloud of dust and air. When the dust cleared, no-one was injured or harmed at all (fortunately) - but Capone was gone, having evidently taken advantage of the cover of the dust.
Chapter Nine: Conclusion
"Where's Capone? Does he know where the RangerWing is?"
"Oh, golly, Chip, don't worry so much. Without this holding pin" - Gadget pulled out a large metal rod from behind her back that looked slightly too big to fit there - "the wings will fall off if he tries to fly it."
Monty nodded. "Roight. No worries, then, eh?" His voice was slightly strained; mainly because he didn't recognise the bit Gadget was holding and certainly didn't know where to look to see if it had been replaced.
Lawhinie simply filed away the information for later use.
"And what about the RangerPlane?"
Gadget paled. "Oh dear."
-------------------
As they shortly discovered, they need not have worried; Capone didn't find the aircraft. In fact, it might have been better had they not worried; the Rangers managed to fall into Capone's net trap, neatly trapping all of them except Zipper, who could fit through the net, and Lawhinie and Shaka, who had been hanging behind a little.
Before he could free the other rangers, though, Capone arrived... with both Sugar Ray and Mouseneggar in tow. The wooden crate that had held the two goons had a hole in the side, and the rusty screwdriver that had done the work rested in Capone's hands. Realising that he had the upper hand, the gangster grinned grimly. "Well, well, well. The whole kaboodle. How's that fer luck?"
Lawhinie frowned. She had no real reason to help the rangers out; but her stint as Capone's slave had done her an unimaginable injury. "I broke a nail in that tunnel. I'm not going to be your slave again, garlic-breath."
Capone grinned wider. "Yeah? I gotta say, you an' yer twin there had me real fooled for a moment. But now that I look closer, I reckon you're the one who didn't wreck a chance ta be my moll, an' so I'd like ta offer yer the position. I'd give yer all the gold yer could want... that bunch could dig it outta the vault for ya."
Lawhinie considered this for a moment. But it was Shaka who spoke next... "You're not seriously considering it, are you?"
"Of course I am. I'd only need to stay until I could get hold of - "
"Hey, no way, lady. If yer gonna be my moll, it's a lifetime position; the day yer leave is the day yer die."
Lawhinie's dreams of being a Hawaiian queen warred with a rich future with Capone...
"Bzz't! Bz'zz bzzz bzz bz bz bztz bzzzt bz bzz!"
"Oh, shut up. I'm thinking here. This decision could change my whole future, you know."
"Zipper's roight, though, lass. If 'e changes 'is mind, yer gonna end up dead. I wouldn' call that secur - off!"
Sugar Ray frowned at Monty. "Prisoners keep their gobs shut, bigmouse!"
Is that what he said? though Lawhinie. He has a good point...
But it was Shaka who decided the issue in the end. Grabbing Capone by the throat, he dragged the diminutive rat to eye level and growled "No-one makes Lawhinie a moll."
"I do what I want, an' you're gonna release me, right now."
"If that's what you want..."
Shaka's idea of "releasing" Capone consisted of a fist to the face. Capone flew through the air, hitting Mouseneggar in the middle; the two of them continued into the sewer, where they quickly pulled themselves aboard a piece of wood. Shortly thereafter, Sugar Ray (who was a much less fearsome fighter without his tail) was flung onto the same board.
Lawhinie turned to the surfer mouse. "You idiot! I could've... er..." She noticed the Rangers all looking at her. "Never mind."
Meanwhile, on the board, a change seemed to have come over Capone. Him and his henchmen had found ice-cream sticks, and were standing in a small circle in the centre of the craft, watching the water around them in fear.
"Maybe 'e's on holiday." suggested Mouseneggar, trembling.
"Not likely." responded Capone.
And then a familiar face surfaced just to the rear of the raft - Mikey, the pirhana, once used by Capone to keep his slaves in line.
"Where's my gold, Capone? Thinking of turning our backs on the deal, were we?"
"No! No, I swear, Mikey, nothing like that at all..."
"DON'T CALL ME MIKEY!"
And, for the second time, the rangers were treated to the site of Capone and his henchmen paddling frantically down the sewer, pursued by a hungry pirhana...
Of course, Gadget immediately took Capone's electric chair apart.
---------------------
Epilogue 1: Cellphone modifications
"...and really, to get any sortof a decent phrasebook I'd need to hollow out a new room, well, more like a new tree really, but I've got all the basic phonemes on tapes from Stan Blather's news segments."
Gadget was standing in front of a large mechanism, built into one wall of the tree.
"So, basically, we've got the capability to talk on the phone to humans on this device, but not too clearly. It's going to sound terribly fake."
Chip nodded. "That's wonderful, Gadget. Now, how do you operate it?"
"Well, all you need to do is think of the phonemes you want to use, and then pull the required levers..."
"They're not labelled."
"Oh, um, I never quite got around to..."
"Nevermind about that. Can you send a call through now?"
"No problem, Chip. Who to?"
"Local newspaper, classified ads. I've got something to advertise..."
------------------
Epilogue 2: Classified
"G-oo-d m-or-n-i-ng. I h-a-ve s-o-me-th-i-ng t-ooo a-d-v-e-r-t-i-se."
There was some squeaking in the background. ("Golly, Chip, this is more tiring that I'd imagined!") But the intern who had taken the call ignored that. "Yes? And what would you like to advertise?"
"A s-e-r-v-i-ce. I-n th-e c-l-a-ss-i-f-ie-d-s."
"What service would that be, sir?"
"A d-e-t-e-c-t-i-ve a-g-e-n-ch*-ssssss-y. Th-e R-e-s-c-ue a**-R-a-n-g-e-r-s".
The intern nodded. Doubtless this man - whoever he was - was a foreigner, although she couldn't quite place his accent. Nonetheless, the classifieds were free, so she only needed the text from him...
*"Oops, wrong phoneme! Golly, this is a difficult interface. I can see I'm going to need to work on it."
**"Golly, that's the second time now!"
Epilogue 3: Citizen's arrest
"...picking pockets in the museum, Constable."
Kirby looked at the man trapped between Mary Sue and Gary Stu. They'd come together with a very angry-looking crowd, who were all, apparently, missing their wallets.
"Well done." he managed. This pickpocket had been operating all over the area, recently; he'd been hoping to catch the man himself. "You two must have good eyes. Ever think of forming a detective agency?"