When animals think of the tree that houses the headquarters of the Rescue Rangers, they immediately think of huge conference rooms with chalkboards. They think of state-of-the-art exercise facilities. They even think of luxurious bedrooms with the finest modern conveniences.

They don’t normally think of it as a place for wild and wacky parties. That’s because the Rangers don’t invite the general public into their homes for wild and wacky parties. Only a select few individuals blessed with their previous associations with the Rangers have those memories. Some of those special few have even been invited to join the Rescue Rangers, like the ones who were visiting.

Tammy sat on the couch with Dale, Monty, Foxglove, and Zipper. The group was listening to Chip as he told the tale of his escape from the mental hospital, his trek through psychological imbalance, and his ultimate redemption through Gadget. Needless to say, the assembled group was practically on their literal edge of their seats with rapture.

The red-haired squirrel gaped with her jaw open for a moment before stating, “That’s the most fantastic, weird, and awkward thing I’ve ever heard! It was even worse than me going through puberty!” The rest choked on their collective breaths for a moment before settling down.

The detective proudly tugged on his new hat and smoothed out the lapels of his new jacket. He stated, “Every bit of it is true, completely true. In fact, I’m not sure who had a worse time of it, me or Gadget. At least with me, no one actually tried to hurt me for real. It was all hallucination. It’s scary to me what real harm Gadget might have come to.”

Foxglove hugged her own chipmunk tightly, and said in a dreamy voice, “To think that you climbed the very heights of ‘Heaven’ to meet with your angel.” She sighed and nuzzled Dale, stating, “How romantic! Dale, would you climb a building for me?”

The Hawaiian-clad one reeled from the emotions surging to his head and said, “Yeah. I’ll even climb two if you like.”

The feisty bat suddenly let go of her chipmunk, who tumbled to the floor. SPLAT! She then said flippantly, “Good! Now fetch me some of those moths that like to hang out on top of the Empire State Building. I’m hungry.”

Dale looked up from the floor in sudden concern, “Huh?”

Foxglove then started laughing powerfully. The others soon joined in. She said, “You should have seen the look on your face, cutie!” The red-nosed one began laughing at the joke and sat back on the couch.

The sound of a sudden discharge of electricity involuntarily drew everyone’s attention to the hallway, where deep within lay the portal to Gadget’s workshop. Gadget had dragged Sparky into her Temple of Invention to try out a few joint projects together. Sparky had eagerly agreed. Buzz had opted to stay at the Ranger Outpost and overlook the collection of information from the human police.

Monty gingerly asked, “Do ya think that ol’ Sparky kin actually make Gadget’s inventions even more dangerous, mates?”

Zipper began gesturing the action of hammering a nail and then zapping it with electricity. He shrugged his shoulders in final answer.

Dale asked, “You don’t think they could accidently destroy the tree, do you?”

Chip crossed his arms over his chest and answered forcefully, “Nonsense! Sparky explicitly told me that whatever they’re working can not and will not explode.” The chipmunk actually debated telling the group that the lab rat had confided that the experiment might actually implode, but the intricacies of implosion versus explosion might alarm the others. He decided to play it cool for now.

The others were relieved, especially Dale, who piped up and said, “That’s great. It’s no fun to blow up before your birthday.” The assembled Rangers nodded their heads in general acknowledgement.

However, Chip slapped his palm to his forehead. He realized out loud, “That’s right! Tomorrow’s your birthday! How could I forget?”

The red-nosed one chuckled and said, “Good job, Shureshuck! You figured out the case. Of course I’ll forgive you, since you’ve had bigger things ‘on your mind’, but the rest of you owe me a huge present.”

Monty chuckled and patted Dale on the back, which nearly made him fall off the couch. “Gyeah, ha, ha! Of course, Dale me lad! Anythin’ you want, we’ll go out an’ get it.”

Tammy rubbed her paw in his headfur, messing it up. She said, “Just what is it that your deviant little chipmunk heart desires?”

Zipper buzzed and squeaked a reminder to Dale to watch his language as there were females present. He smirked, hoping to have setoff a firestorm of embarrassment.

Foxglove gave her cutie an expectant look, as if trying to telepathically insist that he ask for only nice things.

Dale just pulled on the collar of his shirt and said, “Nothing so pedestrian, my good fly. In fact, I’ve set my sights higher this time.” The others collectively took in a deep breath, fearing the worst. Dale was using his imagination again.

He finished by saying, “What I want for my birthday is to be the leader for the next case the Rescue Rangers take. I know I’ve asked for this before, but I want it again. It felt good to lead the others on our pirate ship case and now that Chip and Gadget are back, I want to show them just what I can do given a chance.”

Chip began tapping his foot on the floor rapidly. His palm slid down to cover his mouth, showing that he was lost in thought. The others all voiced their opinions outright.

Tammy said, “Good idea, Dale! I think a little more leadership experience will do you some good. Heaven knows it’s worked wonders for my confidence.”

Foxglove snuggled her chipmunk close and stated, “Of course we’ll follow you for a case. You were wonderful last month. I know you can do it!”

Zipper buzzed his relief. He thought he was going to have to arrange something complicated and embarrassing.

Monty tugged his flight cap and said, “Bonzah idea, mate! Maybe ya kin look fer another adventure fer us!” Monty slyly added, “A little treasure to keep aftawards wouldn’t hurt none, neither.”

The Hawaiian-clad hero looked to the last Ranger in the room and anxiously waited for his answer. Chip said evasively, “I don’t know. I mean you have grown up over the past year, but it takes more than maturity to be a leader. Not to downplay your honest achievement in your pirate ship case, Dale, but I think you got lucky. What happens if you get in over your head?”

Dale calmly mentioned, “Then I’ll ask for help.”

The other Rangers surrounding Dale gazed intensely at their leather-clad leader, as if boring their thoughts into his skull. Chip realized that he was outnumbered and arguing would not solve anything.

At length, he offered, “Well, okay. As long as it’s not too big a case for you to handle, then I’m all for it.” The group cheered.

Dale stood up and placed his paw over his heart. He proclaimed boldly, “All right! I won’t let you guys down. I promise to be a good leader and listen to you all and yadda-yadda.” The other laughed at his antics. He finished by saying, “I also promise to take my duties very seriously and not to re-live the ‘shell station’ incident.”

Tammy and Foxglove snickered, remembering how the others very ‘kindly’ explained how Dale led the others to a gasoline station while looking for missing seashells because ‘the sign said so’.

Zipper flew off to the workshop to give the good news to the science team. Monty decided to call up Buzz on the radio to let him know. The black-nosed chipmunk tugged his fedora and said, “I hope I don’t regret this.”

The next morning, the Rangers got up and settled back into their routine. As Chip ate another forkful of his cheese flapjacks, he reflected how the routine had changed from the first time the Rangers had taken up the fight against crime and corruption.

Breakfast was certainly the same, as was the present company. Next would be the group’s sit-down in front of the T.V. to watch the morning news. Following would be normal household chores until time for patrol, ending in lunch back at the tree.

After that, the routine shows its differences. Lunchtime in the past usually signaled a stakeout of the human police station for hours, waiting for a case. Now, that was handled by an afternoon delivery of computer data over the P.D.A. system and radio that Gadget had set up. It came from the second Ranger tree over in the city that was staffed by their second team. Around that time Zipper would fly over to meet with his contacts from the far-reaching insect network that spent its off-hours spying on known criminals to give the Rangers leads. The number of insects volunteering to make the city safe wasn’t large, but it did cover the entire city limits. The chipmunk was very proud of Zipper for pulling his idea off in style. He wondered where he got the idea on the first place.

Chip’s head began to reel from the magnitude of the changes and the good job they implied. He got up to put his plate in the sink and considered what it may look like in the future with more members and more outposts. He walked into the living room and switched on the T.V.

“UP NEXT ON CARTOON TELEVISION...BATMAN: THE FEARLESS AND THE MIGHTY!!!” The T.V. boomed its words loud enough to shock everybody out of their seats. Chip crawled over to the device and turned the knob to lower the volume.

He could hear Gadget complaining from the kitchen, “Dale! How many times must I instruct you to lower the volume before you unplug those headphones I gave you?!”

Dale’s whimper sounded back, “I’m sorry! I thought I did!” The detective shook his head ruefully. This was not instilling him with confidence today.

The chipmunk changed the channel to the local news. The typical human sat at his seat at his normal desk. Chip sighed in relief at the idea that some things never change. The human had a picture next to his head showing the nearby comic book shop.

“This is Stan Blather, with the latest breaking story. Just less than thirty minutes ago, the local store for everything fantasy and science fiction was robbed of all of its ready cash and several comic books.”

The door to the kitchen opened and Dale stumbled quickly out into the living room. He tripped over his footpaws and collapsed into a heap in front of the television set, still looking up at the screen.

The human continued, “Descriptions are sketchy at this point, but it seems that the criminal that robbed a local grocery store yesterday seems to be this very same robber. He came in, threatened everyone with a strange-looking firearm, and then demanded all the cash in the register and some random item that caught his eye. The fact that employees gave chase to the suspect after he left asks the questions of how the got away so cleanly each time, as if he just disappeared after stepping outside of the store.”

Dale mentioned, “Cooooool! Maybe he’s got superpowers!”

Chip snorted and said, “More likely that the employees didn’t give as much chase as they boasted. After all, the suspect was carrying a gun. It’s logical not to put yourself in harm’s way enough to get shot. He probably ducked into a side alley to escape.”

The human finished, “If the methods of this clever criminal are not stopped, we could be looking at a new crime wave. Sergeant Spinelli of the police department had this to say about the incidents.”

The picture shifted to a scene at Spinelli’s desk. The human police officer in question was pointing down at the floor off-camera and he shouted, “Hey! You’re standing on my lunch!!!”

Stan Blather finished his report by stating, “Bold words from our beloved police department. I have no doubt that our city’s finest will teach this disrespectful person that ‘Crime does not pay’. Now over to Jan the Weathergirl.”

Dale jumped up and shouted, “Rangers, I have our next case!”

Gadget, Monty, and Zipper came in from the kitchen eagerly. The noble fly buzzed an inquiry as to the specifics of the case.

The red-nosed chipmunk placed his hands on his hips and proclaimed, “A crime wave is forming. A human has learned how to disappear after a robbery. We’re going to catch him and turn him over to the police.”

Chip added, “The suspect seems to be armed with something that isn’t immediately recognizable, but he’s angry enough to threaten to use it. At the very least we should show the police how he escapes.”

The blonde inventor didn’t say anything, for she was lost in thought, trying to figure out all the ways to use a hand-held device to disappear.

Monty cracked his knuckles and stated, “Well, if’n he think he kin jus’ rob honest people an’ get away with it, he’s got another thing coming, eh Zip?”

Zipper nodded his head in agreement. He landed on Monty’s shoulder and began punching the air, showing his fierceness.

Dale stated, “So follow me and we’ll solve this case in no time!”

The fedora-wearing chipmunk disagreed, “Dale, this is too big of a case for you. I know we promised you a case, but this guy could be armed with a gun! This is a real case with real danger. I don’t think you’re ready. Let me take this one and you can take the next one.”

Insulted, the red-nosed one poked the leather-clad chipmunk in the chest and yelled, “Oh no, you’re not getting out of this one! You promised me ‘the next case’ and this is it! There’s practically no case that we take that isn’t dangerous! Just the fact that humans are larger and don’t like rodents make every case a hazard. Now I’m going to lead you on this case and you’re gonna take directions from me!”

Not helping matters, Gadget rattled off, “Well, we actually did promise Dale ‘the next case’ and this is the next case in a linear sequence of thermodynamic events but of course of you don’t consider time to be linear thenyoucanconsidereverycasetobethenextonefurthermore…”

Monty placed his paw firmly on Gadget’s shoulder. She blushed and stopped. He stated, “Now Chippah, oi knew yer jus’ lookin’ out fer us, but Dale’s got a point. If we don’ let him take any dangerous cases, then he won’ prove anythin’!” Zipper squeaked his agreement and support of Dale.

Chip rubbed his eyes in frustration and relented, “All right, all right!” He took a deep breath and asked, “Okay Dale, what do we do first?”

The red-nosed one stated boldly, “Everyone in the Rangerwing! We’re going to the scene of the crime to check for clues and listen to the humans. We’ll go to the grocery store first and then the comic book shop afterwards. Rescue Rangers, away!”

Gadget flew the Rangerwing to the roof of the Shopper’s Paradise grocery store. Landing next to the air conditioner, she pulled the throttle all the way back. The engines slowed down until they stopped.

She hopped out of the plane and said, “Monty, if you will?”

The rugged Aussie climbed out and boldly strode up to the ventilation grill on the air conditioner. “With pleasure, luv.” He grabbed the edge and yanked it free of the housing, laying the grill flat off to the side.

The blonde inventor pulled out a screwdriver and a metal probe and began working on the electronics. After a moment, the machine stopped working. She boasted, “Okay, that does it. It’s in standby now. The humans won’t notice for a while and all they have to do is re-set the controls to get it working again.”

Chip stepped out of the planes and said, “Great work, Gadget. Now let’s get down there and…”

Dale interrupted, “Wait a minute, Chip. I’m the leader here and I’ll decide what to do.”

The fedora-wearing chipmunk grumbled and offered diplomatically, “Okay, what do you want to do, Dale?”

The red-nosed one answered, “Let’s get down there and listen to the humans. Maybe they’ll talk about it.”

Chip rubbed his temples, hoping that the headache he felt coming on was only temporary. The Rangers climbed down through the vent and made their way over the registers.

A teenaged boy was talking to one of his co-workers as a teenaged girl left the register to bring the receipts to the manager. The second boy asked, “I just heard it on the news. You got robbed?”

The first boy snapped, “Yes, now don’t bug me about it!”

The second boy held up his hands in an inoffensive gesture and said, “Whoa, whoa! Calm down, Jeff!”

Jeff controlled his expression and apologized, “Sorry, Tim. It’s just that that short guy humiliated me!”

Tim’s expression showed how confused he was. “Humiliated you? How?”

Jeff explained, “He pointed some kinda weird gun at Wendy at told her to empty the register. Then he told me to put all of our ‘Warm Pockets’ frozen snacks on a rolling cart and bring it out front! Can you imagine?! Me working for some mugger while Wendy’s watching!”

The second boy asked, “Did they catch the guy?”

The first boy said, “No! How could they not catch him?! The guy just ran around the corner, pulling the cart full of food. When the cops ran around the corner, they said he wasn’t there. What’s wrong with them?”

After a few more minutes of listening to the two boys, the girl came back to the register. Embarrassed by the conversation, the boys left to go do some actual work.

Dale said, “Okay, we’ve learned all we can from this. Let’s hit the comic store and see if we can get anything else from there.”

Later, the Rangers were hidden behind some autographed photos in free-standing frames along the shelves of the Iron Portcullis. Being behind the register gave them the vantage point of most of the store, which was a single, huge, open room with many shelves and tables.

The owner, a rather hefty specimen of manliness named Larry, cleaned his glasses and talked very calmly to his young customers. The customers, four kids of various background and all around ten years old, were enthralled at the events that seemed to only happen in their stories.

Larry smiled and said, “Then the little guy screamed about how no one ever carried his favorite anti-hero anymore. I told him that we could special-order anything that’s been printed for no extra charge. He challenged my knowledge of fiction for my life.”

The kids gasped. No one ever challenged Larry the All-Knowing and walked away not-humiliated! One of the kids asked, “Did you use your special powers to destroy him?”

Larry smiled gently and stated, “No, young one. To use my powers out of pride would be an invitation to the Dark Side. Instead, I merely used my vast knowledge after years of training and a calm attitude. He pulled some kind of advanced blaster and asked me to produce any Golden Age Dr. Fantastico comics in mint condition. I produced all of the Golden Age issues, numbers one through thirty-two.”

Another kid said, “Dr. Fantastico is stupid! He just makes stuff for the Fellowship of Heroes to actually go out and fight evil. Besides, now he’s a villain.”

The all-knowing one said, “I like Dr. Fantastico. He uses what gifts he has to help. It’s true that he’s not a brawler, but then again neither is his nemesis, the Orange Flashlight. You like him, don’t ya?” The kids all nodded their heads eagerly. Who didn’t love the Orange Flashlight? He was a founding member of the Fellowship of Heroes!

He continued, “He’s kind of like the match for Dr. Fantastico. He uses his mind to channel his Orange Energy into things that use the natural laws of the universe to defeat his enemies. He couldn’t do that without thinking. Besides, it’s not Dr. Fantastico’s fault. The hypno-slug in his brain gives him a clash of personalities. I can see him slowly gathering the components for a phase-matter extractor over the course of a dozen issues to try to remove the parasite. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was free in the next few years.”

Chip ground his teeth in frustration. All of this comic-book stuff was beginning to wear on his mind. When he got home, he’d read all of his Shureluck Jones stories in one sitting just to cleanse himself of such ideas as energy powers and advanced blasters.

Gadget began to tap her finger on her kneecap repeatedly. She said, “Hmmm…”

Zipper squeaked the obvious question.

She responded, “I’m thinking that this guy’s saying that the thief didn’t pull a normal handgun. If the crook did threaten him with a classic firearm, he’d say so. I think the thief had some scientifically advanced device. I wish I knew what it was.”

Larry wrapped up the story by saying, “We should be patient with him. Even though I won the contest, he still robbed me of my cash and took the Dr. Fantastico comics. I think he was very lonely and needed a friend. I called for the police right after he left and an officer was nearby. When the officer ran over, he chased the guy into an alley where he vanished.”

The kids all asked at once. “Vanished? Where?” “How could he just disappear?” “Maybe he’s got powers to fly or teleport or walk through walls!” “Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. He was probably just hiding from the law.”

The store owner said, “I know that police officer. He’s not incompetent. That means the crook did somehow use unusual means of escape. It’s a good thing I have that camera attached to my computer here to take still pictures as he walked away for the police. I gave them to the officer and he took the pictures to the station.”

Chip said, “We need to see those pictures. This doesn’t sound like anyone we’ve ever come across before.”

Monty said, “Oi’d loike ta see this here device he’s carryin’ around and hear what Gadget thinks of it. Oi’d hate ta ‘ave ta go ta me death because of some two-bit hold-up artist.”

The Rangers filed out of the store using the holes in the ceiling that led to the storage room and out back where the Rangerwing looked inconspicuous amongst the piles of old sci-fi junk that nobody wanted to buy over the last twenty years.

Later, at the police station…

A fishing line flew through the air towards the desk of Sergeant Spinelli. Instead of a lure, it had an open safety pin on the end. When it landed on the desk, the needle point stuck into a picture printed form a computer.

Chip reeled in his trusty collapsing fishing rood and held the paper before the others on top of the ceiling fan. He stated, “Well, it’s not the biggest catch I’ve ever had.”

Dale mock-glared at his best friend and playfully said, “Showoff.”

The Rangers stared at the picture. The camera hooked up to the human’s computer did not have the best of clarity, but the Rangers could make out a short human with red hair waving a large gun-like device at the camera, which was sitting just over the shoulder of the human. The gun blocked most of the suspect’s head.

Zipper buzzed his dissatisfaction. Monty agreed, “Yeah, mate. I was hopin’ fer a bettah picture than this.”

Gadget stared at the weapon and thought for a while. Finally, she said, “It looks like some kind of ray emitter. See the antenna on the end? This doesn’t fire bullets. It bathes the target in a cone of energy.”

Chip asked, “What does the energy do?”

She answered, “It’s not possible to figure that out like this. I’d need to examine the weapon up close to tell that. However, if that entire back half is just a capacitor to power it, then I’d say that living things might suffer if they were hit.”

The detective thought for a moment, and then asked, “Okay, Dale. You’re the leader. What do you think is going on?”

Proud to be asked his opinion, Dale smoothly answered, “I think I know the kind of person this is. He’s obviously a comic book geek…I mean ‘enthusiast of popular fiction’ like myself. He’s collecting all sorts of stuff that we like for himself. He’s built some doohickey that gives him the ability to escape the police whenever he wants. In fact, the comics are the big clue.”

Disappointed at the mention of comic books again, Chip frowned. “Dale, that’s ridiculous! Who ever heard of a real scientist being a comic book geek and using a device which must have cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to grab petty cash from grocery stores?”

The Hawaiian-shirt wearing chipmunk argued back, “I’ve read Dr. Fantastico! This crook is using some of the character’s plotlines and crimes to his advantage! It’s obvious that he’s testing the device by staging crimes so obvious that the police would chase him. We need to use the plotlines of his arch-nemesis to thwart him!”

The fedora-wearing chipmunk yelled, “Who ever heard of comic books ever solving crimes? That’s stupid! If this guy were so smart to invent this device, he’d read something more intelligent! He wouldn’t pattern himself after a comic book villain. He’d be like a master criminal like Professor Moliarty!”

Monty grabbed Chip by the shoulder and stated very firmly, “Chip, stop misbehaving! Listen ta yerself! Yer saying you don’t loike Dale’s fictional villain because your fiction villain is cooler.”

Chip’s brain locked up with the realization. Feeling very foolish, he apologized, “Sorry, Dale. I know this is your birthday present. What do you want to do from here?”

Suddenly, the police radio squawked to life on Spinelli’s desk. It barked out, “Attention all units! Attention all units! Robbery in progress at 1785 Kincaid Drive. Suspect is short, Caucasian male with unusual weapon.”

Dale pointed dramatically at the radio and declared, “Quick, Rangers! To the Rangerwing! We’ve got to stop that crook before he gets away!” Dale was enjoying himself this day.

The Rangerwing flew at full throttle towards Kincaid Drive. Monty called out from the co-pilot’s seat, “Down there, luv! It’s tha Spic-‘n-Span Dry Cleaners! Some bloke’s opened tha back door!”

Gadget pushed the control stick forward and depressed the left rudder pedal gently. The Rangerwing went into a dive, turning towards the side alley next to the front door. She said, “If he went out the back door, he has to come out this way!”

Chip called out on reflex, “Dale, man the plunger gun!”

Since Dale knew his gunnery skills were unmatched by any of the others, he did not argue. Instead, he grabbed a net plunger and loaded it into the rear launcher. Swinging it around to face front, he gripped the handles tightly. If that crook was going to show his face to Dale, then it would be all wrapped up in net-like wrapping paper as if a holiday present for the police.

The sounds of police emanated from the back alley around the corner to the right as the Rangerwing swooped into a level flight down the side alley. “Halt in the name of the law! Drop that thing or we’ll fire!”

The Rangers gritted their teeth, anxious to not be blasted by some panicking thief wielding a dangerous weapon. A strange high-pitched sound echoed sharply from the alley just beyond the Ranger’s point of view.

Gadget slowed the throttle greatly and pressed the right rudder pedal all the way to the floor. She made ready to jerk the control stick back sharply if she was going to come close to hitting the suspect. Sudden impacts made her inventions just go all to pieces and she didn’t like that.

As the Rangerwing turned the corner, she was surprised as the police gave chase towards a far brick wall! Disappearing just into the brick wall was the back of someone short, with red hair and a familiar laugh. “MWA-HA-Haaaaaa!!! You’ll never catch me you dim-witted buffoons!”

The human walked right into the wall and passed through! The substance of the wall seemed to flow around him like he was pushing his way through a gel-like barrier. The police came up short, not wanting to touch the wall out of fear.

The taller, dark-skinned officer asked, “You see that, man? Like it was nothin’!”

The shorter officer rasped, “Yeah, I saw it too, partner. Let’s call it in.”

The taller officer said, “You want to report he got away through a wall?”

The shorter officer walked back towards the car and said slyly, “Nope, I’ll say that he just had a head start and got away. You take the statement from the clerk.”

Both officers went back into the dry cleaners while the Rangerwing flew up to park on the roof. Monty and Gadget began to unhook the ventilation grate for the others.

Chip called out, “Zipper, fly down and listen to everything the clerk says!” The noble fly saluted and sped off through the grate. Dale just fumed that he didn’t think of it first.

After a minute, the Rangers walked down into the ventilation system and came out behind the clerk’s desk. Zipper saw them and flew over.

The human said to the tall officer, “And that’s what he took. Then he heard your sirens and ran out the back. He struggled with the stuck door for a bit until you came in. The rest you know.”

The officer asked, “Did he harm you in any way or damage anything?”

The clerk replied, “No he didn’t. I have no doubt that he would, but they don’t pay me enough to take lumps for this business.”

The tall policeman replied, “You did the right thing, pal. Just sign this statement and we’ll be out of your way.” The clerk read over the paper and signed his name. Then the officer rejoined his partner in the police car.

Dale quickly asked before Chip could open his mouth, “What did we miss, Zip?”

Zipper pantomimed the act of kicking the unlocked door in and pointing a handgun at Dale. He then squeaked harshly and counted to six. He finished off by grabbing something and then a bag and running to the back.

Chip scratched his head and asked, “He took the cash and what?!”

Zipper repeated that part of the story.

Monty stated, “He took an order of six dry-cleaned white lab coats? What kinda loco type would take that stuff?”

Dale spoke up, “Because they were his coats! This way he doesn’t have to pay the dry cleaners! Remember what we saw in the alley. Who’s short, red-haired, and builds strange and powerful devices?”

Gadget confirmed, “Nimnul! He would be just about the only one who could make a ray that destabilizes molecules enough to pass through them. Now we know what that device is! It’s a molecular destabilizer! He just blasts a wall with enough energy to break the surface tension of the molecules and pushes his way through. After a short time, the molecules stabilize by themselves and the wall becomes solid again. It’s the perfect getaway device!”

Chip asked fearfully, “Gadget, can you block it or stop it somehow?”

The blonde inventor regretfully answered, “No, not without seeing his wiring diagrams. It’s too complex to guess what wave patterns he’s using. Also, I strongly advise not to get hit. Who knows what molecular destabilization would do to your nerves?”

Zipper buzzed and squeaked an idea.

Monty agreed, “Good idea, Zip. We can’t follow ‘im anymore, so let’s get home an’ try to guess where he’s goin’ next.”

Chip’s face lightened up like he suddenly had an idea. He walked over and whispered to Zipper. Zipper also smiled and buzzed agreement.

Back at headquarters, the Rangers were sitting around the living room but not in their usual positions. Gadget and Monty were sitting on the couch, watching the news. Stan Blather was once again reporting on the latest of Nimnul’s robberies. The mice were hoping to discover more clues.

Dale was pacing back and forth in the middle of the room, mumbling to himself. “Gotta figure this out. Chip could figure this out. I can’t let the others down. I gotta prove myself a good detective.”

Chip was sitting at the radio desk, watching Dale pace back and forth. He was trying very hard not to smile at Dale’s frustration. It reminded him of a certain younger chipmunk that paced that very spot many times in the past years. Zipper was nowhere to be found.

As the T.V. went to commercial, the radio crackled to life. Tammy’s voice echoed from the electronics. “Outpost to H.Q. Outpost to H.Q. Here’s today’s information.”

As the P.D.A. beeped several times and displayed several new messages from Tammy’s username, Chip pressed the ‘talk’ button on the radio. “Hi Tammy! We see the messages. Can I ask you for a favor?”

Tammy’s voice lowered a tad, becoming very coy. “You can ask me for anything, brown-eyes.” The others giggled loudly at this. Gadget’s eyes narrowed on reflex, but she kept her temper.

Chip rolled his brown eyes and replied, “Tammy, get a boyfriend.”

The squirrel responded impatiently, “I’m working on it!”

The detective took control of the situation once again. “I need you to comb through all of the information we have from the human police. I need you to prepare a special report on something specific.”

The sounds of shuffling pencil stub and paper sounded form the radio, and then Tammy said, “Okay, shoot.”

Chip casually stated, “I need you to search for any mention of ‘loan sharking’ and find out who are all the major players in that racket in the last year. Also, find out if any of those groups have gotten all riled up over someone who hasn’t paid.”

The red-haired squirrel replied, “Okay, got it. I’ll get you that tonight.”

Chip acknowledged the messaged and signed off. The others looked at him cautiously. They hated it when they couldn’t keep up with Chip’s deductive skills. Gadget reasoned that since he’s wearing a new hat, it couldn’t be that. Perhaps Chip was descended from Shureluck Jones’s fabled pet chipmunk.

Dale asked suspiciously and with a smile, “What are you up to?”

Chip returned the expression perfectly and evaded, “When am I ever up to anything? Have you got a new plan for us, oh fearless leader?”

The red-nosed one admitted, “No, I don’t. I can’t help it, but I’m stumped. We know who’s doing this but we can’t just stake out every small business in the city.”

The black-nosed one encouraged, “So what do we do then?”

Dale replied logically, “Well, we need to stop him before he strikes again. We should find his hideout and bring the police there.”

The fedora-clad chipmunk tugged his hat and further encouraged, “…or?”

The Hawaiian-clad chipmunk answered carelessly, “…or we could guess his next crime, but that’s impossible!” After a moment, he asked, “Isn’t it?”

Chip playfully chided, “I thought someone who could bull’s-eye womp rats in their T-16 didn’t believe in the word ‘impossible’.”

Dale smiled and growled back comically. Gadget and Monty grinned wide at the boys’ playfulness. It certainly was better than them fighting.

Tammy called back and declared, “Got it! File incoming!” The P.D.A. beeped once again. She added, “Just to save you the trouble of reading it, here’s the summary. A few years ago, the Ratskiwatski Mob edged out all other crime families in the loan sharking racket. They’re the only major player, with lots of money to float. Apparently, about three months ago they sent out an order to crack down on someone who borrowed a ton of money promising to deliver tech for the mob. The guy never paid up. They’re still looking for him now.”

Chip spoke back, “Excellent work, Tammy. Remind me to make dessert the next time you come over here.”

The squirrel replied excitedly, “You better! In fact, that makes three desserts you owe me for special favors! I’m bringing Bink.”

Chip’s eyes bugged out as he considered the bottomless stomach that you young squirrel seemed to have. He may have bit off more than he can chew this time. The others laughed at this humorous turn of events.

The detective tried to play off the embarrassment by asking, “Dale, what do you think we should do about Nimnul?”

The red-nosed one answered, “I don’t know. You seem to have ideas.”

Chip got a crafty look in his eyes and said, “Maybe, it depends on something else happening tonight.”

Dale began tugging his headfur. He complained, “That’s it! I give up! I’m no good at this detective stuff. What do you suggest I do?”

The leather-clad chipmunk walked over and patted his best friend on the shoulder. He consoled, “First of all, stop panicking. A good detective uses all of his resources before doing anything. Right now we’ve got some questions answered, but there’s still some crucial ones not answered. Just be patient and learn about a detective’s methods.”

Suddenly, Monty looked around the room and exclaimed, “Where’s Zippah? I get it! You’ve gotten him out checkin’ that network of informants you two made up, roight?”

Gadget snapped her fingers and said, “Of course! The insects can check out all of Nimnul’s old hideouts at the same time and report back to us!” She gazed in admiration of her favorite chipmunk.

Dale good naturedly at his best friend and grabbed him in a sudden headlock. He declared comically, “You’ve been holdin’ out on us!”

Zipper opened the door to headquarters and flew in. Upon seeing the mock brawl, he quipped about coming at a bad time.

Chip freed himself from the headlock and stated, “Very funny, Zipper. Now, what did the network find out?”

The speedy fly closed the front door and explained in a series of squeaked and buzzes his negative answer.

Gadget asked worriedly, “They couldn’t find him anywhere? All of his hideouts are abandoned?” Zipper nodded in the affirmative.

Dale groused, “Nuts! Now what do we do?”

The noble fly added several pantomimes of someone taking money and then building devices. Everyone watched him do this about a dozen times before he stopped.

Chip summarized the evening’s new information. “What we have is Nimnul borrowing money from the Ratskiwatski Mob over the years to the sum of millions of dollars. He keeps giving them useful devices to use in their bigger crimes, but lately he hasn’t given them anything. Either he’s failed or taking the money for himself to build a new device, say something that can let him walk through walls.”

Gadget stood up anxiously, “Millions of dollars? Golly, the mob’s gonna be mad when they don’t get their money back!”

Monty frowned and quietly added, “Roight. Oi knew some blokes who took money from a loan shark and wound up disappearing fer good. It’s a bad deal, oi say.”

Dale asked, “So, what’s this all mean?”

Chip elucidated, “It means that you’ve been right all along. I hate to admit it, but Nimnul’s built the device and tested it several times on his own errands. The petty cash he took wouldn’t hold off the mob. He’s setting his sights on bigger targets. The mob would have ordered a hit on him by now, so he needs lots of valuables all at once. Since we don’t know where his new hideout is, we need to figure out what his next target so we can catch him.”

Monty said, “That could be anythin’ or anywhere in tha city. There’s too many ta stake out all at once. Maybe he’ll be the simple koinda bloke who robs banks.”

The leather-clad detective tugged his hat and growled, “We don’t have enough information on Nimnul to figure out his pattern yet. We’ll just have to patrol and hope we catch him before his next robbery. Even if we don’t catch him, we might get some more clues. Everybody to the Rangerwing!”

Hours later, the sun was beginning to set in the west. The Rangers kept looking around, hoping to see anything. So far, nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Chip said, “Gadget, just once more around the Second National Bank and then let’s go home.” The pilot just nodded silently, too tired to speak. As the Rangerwing turned around the bank in question, the Rangers just looked on lethargically.

Dale didn’t even bother trying anymore. He thought to himself, I’m such a flop. I can’t even come up with any bright ideas. I don’t even see why we’re tryin’ this stupid stunt. It’s not like we’re gonna just accidentally see him…you know…that guy…like the one down there…short and red hair…wearing a miner’s helmet…with a ray emitter?

Adrenaline flooded Dale’s system as he watched Professor Nimnul point his molecular destabilizer at the back wall of the Second National Bank. The high-pitched sounds just barely registered in his ears because he was expecting it.

He suddenly called out, “Thar he shoots!” The others were jolted into full wakefulness. They saw Dale pointing intently at the building below them.

Chip called out, “Land on the roof!”

Gadget replied, “Roger wilfurry!” She pushed the control stick forward while flipping the hover switch. The engine slowed and then rotated to face the propellers up. Gadget pulled back the throttle to land on the rooftop.

The Rangers got out and ran over to the side of the building to look down at where Nimnul shot the wall.

Dale pointed down and said, “Right there on the ground! He zapped it and then pushed through.”

Chip observed, “That means he walked right into the vault!”

Monty ground his fist into his open palm and grumbled, “It’ll take toime ta open that vault an’ get to ‘im.”

Gadget reported, “It’ll take too long! That’s a bank vault security system! It’s got multiple locks through different solutions and types as well as redundant backups. He’ll be gone before I finish.”

Chip felt his panic rise. He made a brash decision, “Hit the alarm! At least we can drive him off! Maybe we can follow him to his hideout!”

The blonde inventor raced off to tamper with an alarm sensor she spotted on the rooftop. Monty jumped into the pilot’s seat and started up the engines. Chip and Dale jumped into the backseat, unconsciously fastening their seat belt tightly. Although Monty was a better pilot than Gadget under normal circumstances, he was even more dangerous when excited.

Suddenly, the alarm bells started ringing loudly throughout the bank. Gadget ran over and jumped into the co-pilot’s seat. Monty pushed the throttle and piloted the Rangerwing over the edge.

The high-pitched sound happened again, announcing Nimnul’s emergence from the wall. He looked at his watch and said, “What?! Only thirty seconds? I was sure I had more time!”

He looked around himself anxiously. Not seeing what he feared, he began running down the alley, away from the street. Monty flipped the hover switch and the Rangerwing began flying towards the fleeing villain.

The short scientist whined as he turned a corner, “Next time, I gotta steal something more portable! Maybe something lighter or smaller, hmmm…” The high-pitched sound happened again.

As Monty flew the Rangerwing around the corner, he called out, “Look fer ‘im! He’s getting’ away!”

The others kept their eyes peeled, but they did not see him. They were at a corner where four large buildings converged into a four-way alley intersection. Monty pulled up to fly in circles above the buildings. The sounds of police sirens surrounded the bank.

After several minutes, the Rangers despaired. Not a single extra instance of the high-pitched sound happened again. Also, human police swarmed through the alleys, looking for Nimnul.

Monty turned the plane back to headquarters and said, “Sorry, mates. If’n oi don’t go back roight now, we’ll fall outta tha sky.”

Dale argued, “Couldn’t we just land on the roof somewhere and follow Nimnul to where his hideout is?”

Gadget replied, “And then what? We’d have to park at his hideout, probably in a place that isn’t safe, and then be stuck there when the batteries run out.”

Dale felt subdued after that. He thought, I screwed up again. I’ll never be the leader Chip is. I should just give up.

Chip ordered, “We won’t have to. I think I have enough information to pick his next crime. Dale, I’ll need your help.” The red-nosed one looked at his best friend in surprise and silently asked what he was up to. The best friend in question chose not to answer.

Back at headquarters, the Rangers filed into the living room. Chip brought out a copy of the city map to pin to the wall. Dale helped him hang it and brought some pushpins for use. Gadget, Zipper, and Monty sat on the couch, watching expectantly.

Chip stated, “We have the addresses of Nimnul’s first three crimes. Dale, would you please mark those locations with red pins?” The red-nosed chipmunk quickly found the addresses and marked them.

The chipmunk in the cool hat off-handedly replied, “Anybody notice anything strange about those locations?” The others scoured the map with their eyes, but nothing immediately came to mind.

Monty spoke up, saying, “Not really, mate. They’re jus’ close togethah.”

Chip commented, “Exactly! Professional criminals take care not to leave any clues behind, especially ones that could lead investigators back to their hideout. Notice that the first two crimes are actually on the same street, just several blocks away. Then, turn right onto this intersection and you have the third one, just like a piece of a circle.”

Gadget argued, “But Chip, the center of that circle you’re thinking of could still be in several places, depending on how large it is.”

The leather-clad chipmunk nodded, “Right. That means that either this is a false pattern or we simply need another location. Tonight, we got one.” He picked up a green pushpin and placed it on the location of the Second National Bank. He stated, “This bank Nimnul tried to rob is actually closer by one street than I guessed. This means that he’s trying to vary his pattern. However, in general it still traces a kind of circle. This set of four city blocks is where his hideout is.” He then traced a circle using the first three locations as a guide, and then traced the four sites together to get a lop-sided circle. True enough, right in the intersection of the circle was a two-block-by-two-block area.

Dale felt something in his mind reject such a notion. It’s not impossible, but it’s too easy! Nimnul’s been arrested by the police too many times to be this careless! He decided to voice his concerns with a powerful voice. “No!”

The others, shocked by the outburst, looked over to him in concern.

The Hawaiian-clad chipmunk felt a tad embarrassed. That was the voice superheroes used against supervillains, not other members of their own team.

He modulated his voice to something more friendly, but still strong. “Chip, this is crackerjack work but it can’t be this simple. Nimnul knows police tricks like this! He wasn’t knockin’ over those places for cash. He was testing his device! The bank was supposed to be his big score, but we drove him away. He wasn’t robbing grocery stores and dry cleaners for wealth. He was running his errands. You saw what he stole…junk food, comics, and his laundry. The bank was when he deviated from his pattern.”

Monty rubbed his chin, impressed. He stated, “Yeah, oi kin see that. The cash in the registers probably jus’ dawned on ‘im as he was getting’ the other stuff.”

Zipper pantomimed a devious person rubbing his hands gleefully, and then walking around picking up stuff. Finally, he tapped an imaginary wristwatch and picked up something heavy to take away.

Gadget agreed, “He purposefully waited at the bank until everyone left. In the other crimes, he just walked in getting attention. We have to assume he’ll do something similar at a different place.”

Chip stared at Dale for a long minute. Dale felt distinctly uncomfortable under the detective’s scrutiny, but he held his ground. He just felt that he was right.

Eventually, the leader of the Rescue Rangers tipped his hat and said, “I can see that as a possibility, Dale.” Dale felt heartened at this small bit of praise. Chip continued, “However, this still is Nimnul’s pattern. Remember that he was walking every time. He’s not an athlete, so he’d pick places close to his hideout, otherwise he’d be too tired to escape. I’m going to widen this circle to two streets radius around this set of city blocks and list all the places he hasn’t hit yet. That at least gives us a starting point to guess his next target. Dale, you’re on a roll. Come up with some ideas about what Nimnul wants next.”

Suddenly, Dale felt like panicking. It was up to him again? Gosh, leaders just never stop havin’ things to do. He spoke carefully, “I know you guys don’t like my comic books or monster movies, but I’m tellin’ ya Nimnul’s doing this crime wave just like Dr. Fantastico. I don’t mean that one or two things kinda sorta look similar if you squint. I mean every one of these crimes mirrors almost exactly some crime Dr. Fantastico pulled off once he was turned evil. He probably got the idea for the device from the comic, too.”

Gadget asked, “Can you guess his next crime from the comics?”

Dale shook his head, “I’ve only read a few of that series, but I can tell you what Nimnul wants. Now that he’s had several field tests of the device, he wants to pull off the entire caper in a single heist. That way he can fade away without being caught. He’s in debt to the Ratskiwatski mob for millions, right? He wants to get something really, really valuable to pay off his debts.”

Chip spoke up, “There’s not many places in the city to pay off the entire debt in one night, Dale.”

The red-nosed one replied, smoothly, “Then he’d pick the biggest target so he can turn over all of it and get in good with the mob again.”

The detective turned the thoughts over in his brain. He didn’t like to admit it, but they kept making sense. He said, “Maybe Dale, maybe. But remember that Nimnul himself said he wanted to pick smaller targets next time.”

The Hawaiian-clad chipmunk countered, “What he wanted is something to pick up that was easier to carry. Inside the bank vault was huge stacks of cash, huge piles of certificates, and heavy bars of gold. You yourself said he was no athlete. He’d want to pick up small things that don’t weigh much but are worth a lot.”

Chip turned back to the map and began making notes in his notepad. He conceded, “Okay, Dale. You work this angle and I’ll work mine. Maybe we can come up with something by morning. It’s late, everyone. Monty, just whip up a quick late-night snack rather than a full dinner. Save me a plate, please. After that we should get to bed. We can compare notes in the morning.”

The next morning, Dale stumbled out of bed and into the living room. His eyes opened wide to behold Chip, still at the map, finishing off a neat diagram and scribbling clear notes on his notepad with a face that expressed satisfaction.

Dale exclaimed, “Chip? Did you stay right there all night?”

The wily detective tugged his hat and looked askance at his best friend. An intense glare greeted the sleepy chipmunk. Chip chuckled sinisterly and said, “Yes.” As Dale stared, Chip couldn’t hold his composure. He broke down laughing.

The red-nosed one chuckled and said, “Good one! You almost had me. Seriously, how long have you been up?”

The leather-clad chipmunk stated, “I went to bed an hour after you did and I’ve only been standing here for ten minutes.” He showed the list to Dale and explained, “Here are the addresses and types of locations within Nimnul’s radius that he hasn’t robbed yet. Most of them are smaller places that have less cash and are easier to break into. The last few are places that have valuables and fancy security systems.”

Dale leafed through the list backwards and forwards. What Chip said was making sense, but something in the back of his mind just wasn’t buying it. Nimnul’s acting like Dr. Fantastico. I’d bet my bottom peanut on it. So where in all of this do we go because he’d like to go there, too? Hmmm…something about small and light…

The red-nosed one looked up to see his best friends looking expectantly at him. The chipmunk in the Hawaiian sleeping clothes hesitantly asked, “Um, what do I do now?”

Chip patiently asked him back, “What’s a detective’s greatest asset?”

Dale replied jokingly, “A cool hat?”

The chipmunk in the fedora tipped his brim comically and persisted, “I’ll grant you that one. What’s a detective’s second greatest asset?”

Dale hesitated, then answered, “Um…uh, friends?”

The black-nosed one replied, “Close enough, Dale. It’s actually ‘contacts’, but our contacts are also our friends. Try seeing if anyone who has information you don’t have will help you.”

Slowly, Dale looked around the room. He saw the badge on the wall, the front door, the kitchen, Chip, the T.V., the radio, the hallway to the bedrooms, and the tire slide. I wonder if I should leave headquarters and go talk to someone with information. I wonder if… His gaze went right back to the radio as his brain exploded with activity. The radio!

He raced over and turned on the radio. He spoke, “Uh, hi there. It’s Dale. Is anyone there?”

A well-known guinea pig answered tiredly, “Hi there. It’s Buzz over here. My shift is almost over. Something I can do for you, Dale?”

Gaining confidence, Dale asked, “Could you go through the police stuff and see if they mentioned anything in the past few weeks about something small and light and valuable being new and stuff?”

He heard laughter from the other end of the radio and heard Buzz say, “Sure, Dale. Would you like whipped cream with that?” The chipmunk laughed when he heard that. He thought, Actually, whipped cream for breakfast sounds really good. Maybe some pancakes to go with it.

Buzz replied, “Actually, I got something that might fit your search criteria. Last night around dinnertime, the Police Chief gave a statement to the press about the Minerva Diamond collection being donated to the city museum. The last heir to the collection died and no one’s come to claim the gems. So, the state decided to give them to the museum that the heir’s grandfather worked at. They’re supposed to be worth millions.”

Dale heard something behind him. He turned around to see Chip writing furiously on his notepad. Suddenly, Dale understood why detectives carried pencil and paper around with them.

The guinea pig finished his report, “The police chief was saying how the diamonds were going to be guarded by a new security system that would be installed around noon today.”

The Hawaiian-clad chipmunk responded proudly, “Thanks, Buzz! I think you just gave us our lead!” He turned off the radio and faced his best friend.

Chip looked over his notes, flipping between pages rapidly. At length he said, “I think you’re onto something, Dale. The museum is one of the places in Nimnul’s radius and that is something ‘small and light’. Normally, that museum doesn’t have gems on display because it has more archeological items in it, but this new evidence seals it. We’ve gotta get to that museum and stop Nimnul!”

Monty, Zipper, and Gadget came into the living room, suppressing their yawns.

The rugged Aussie asked, “What’s all the hullaballoo?”

Dale declared, “We think we know where Nimnul will strike next! He’s going to try to steal the Minerva Diamonds at the museum this afternoon!”

Chip added, “Still, we can repel him again but we don’t have a way to capture him. I’d really hate to have to let him go again.”

Gadget snapped her fingers and said, “I thought about that last night. Nimnul may be able to walk through walls, but he still has to use that device first, right? Well if it’s like any other prototype then it’s probably not properly protected against outside perturbations!”

Monty tapped Gadget on the shoulder, asking, “Meaning what, luv?”

She explained, “We might be able to short out Nimnul’s molecular destabilizer, thus rendering it useless. Since we don’t have a swimming pool to dunk it in we can short-circuit it.”

Zipper gestured a question to her.

The blonde inventor answered, “I can rig up a net to electrocute that device and overload its internal electronics. We can throw it over the device and then hit the alarm.”

Chip asked, “How long will it take you do build that?”

Already walking down the hallway, Gadget answered distractedly, “Only 2.8675 jiffs, just you watch!”

The leather-clad chipmunk asked the remaining Rangers, “Anyone ever figure out exactly how long is a ‘jiff’?”

The others could only shrug their shoulders in confusion.

Hours later, at the museum across town, the workmen had nearly finished installing the security system. One of the workmen looked at his watch and exclaimed, “Lunch!” The group stopped working together as if on cue and moved off to a discreet location to have their lunch. The nearby security guard that worked for the museum frowned, but kept his peace. There was only so much you could do about union rules.

As the security guard idly wondered how he could get into a union, he heard a high-pitched sound. He looked around himself, trying to find the source of the sound. He saw nothing, his brain trying in vain to conjure images that represented anything that could make such a sound. On impulse, he looked behind himself to see a short man emerging form the very wall behind him!

The little man aimed some sort of ray gun at the guard and demanded, “Back away, flatfoot! Hands up!”

The guard, quickly recognizing that his pay did not justify provoking armed, angry, little men, put his hands up and tried to back away. The little man swung his hand-held device, striking the guard across the temple. The guard dropped unconscious to the floor.

Professor Nimnul taunted his fallen foe, “Ha! Who’s shrimpy now, dope?” He raced over across the hallway to pull the tarp off of the display case. Beneath the covering lay a plastic box sealed with a padlock. Resting within the box was a dazzling collection of a dozen precious stones, each a slightly different hue of red, blue, or yellow. Standing on top of the display case was a pair of angry chipmunks.

The rodent called out, “Pistachio!!!” They jumped on Nimnul’s body, climbing into his clothing and racing around his ticklish body. The distracted scientist began jerking involuntarily from the sensations.

“Ya-ha-ha! Yo-hoo-hooooo! He, hee, heh, hee! G-get ha, ha off!” He then tried to reach the chipmunks with his free hand by trying to twist his body towards his hand. The result seemed to be like watching someone with arthritis dance the watusi on a slippery floor.

Up above the frenzied scientist, a ceiling panel opened. A pair of mice watched the scene below with a smirk of amusement. A fly tried in vain to smother his laughter with his hands.

Monty said, “Gyeah, ha, ha! When Chip and Dale say they’ll ‘think of somethin’, they really come up with somethin’, all roight!”

Gadget tried to screw up her smile into a frown. It almost succeeded. She stated, “The boys need to be off Nimnul before I throw the net. Otherwise, they’ll get shocked, too.”

Zipper stopped laughing and flew down next to Nimnul’s waist. He squeaked and buzzed loudly. A few seconds afterwards, Chip and Dale raced out of the Professor’s sleeves and jumped down onto the floor.

As they raced away from the human, Gadget yelled, “Now!” She flipped a switch on a small box attached to a net that had small wires woven throughout it. Monty heaved the net over the side and down the hole.

The net seemed to crackle as it flew through the air and opened wide. It fell on Nimnul just as he raised his device at the display case.

He yelled shrilly, “You interfering vermin won’t stop me!” As he activated the device, he heard a low-pitched sound. His eyes opened wide as his brain calculated what that meant. Suddenly, he started sinking into the floor!

“Help! No! You vermin have ruined everything! I can’t stop falling!” Nimnul started waving his arms and kicking with his feet. It actually seemed to make him fall faster. In seconds, he disappeared under the floor.

The Rescue Rangers watched in horror as they tried to imagine what would happen if Nimnul could not get out of the floor in time. Gadget and Monty slid down on fishing line grapples to the floor next to the chipmunks.

Chip asked, “Gadget, what happened?”

The genius mouse shrugged her shoulders and answered, “Wellidunno. That wasn’t supposed to happen. It looks like my net shorted out the polarization plates that guide the ray from the focusing array to the ray emitter. Instead of dispersing the energy harmlessly, it reversed to polarity to create a negative feedback bubble.”

Zipper squeaked a request for plain English in his next explanation.

Dale stated off-handedly, “Instead shooting outwards, the ray gun shot itself and Nimnul. The floor’s not ‘soft’ now, he is. He’s sinking through the floor because gravity can still pull on him. If it wears off while he’s still in the floor, he’ll die.”

The others looked at Dale in shock. Gadget asked, “Since when did you major in electronics and relativistic physics?”

The red-nosed one buffed his claws against his shift and said, “Since I got my Ph.D. in comic book literature. This is a classic twist on basic fiendish devices.”

Chip tugged his hat and said, “Everybody to the basement. At least we can try to help him…if he’s still there to be helped.”

Nimnul sank through the sturdy floor like it had suddenly become like pudding. His brain panicked until he got a grip on himself. Shut up, Norton! You’re a genius! You can figure a way out of this! Now, I’m still sinking and I only have a few seconds before the effect wears off. I’m not sinking fast enough to fall past this layer. I need to go faster.

Against all forms of common sense and propriety, Nimnul began swimming through the floor as if he were diving in a pool. It worked! He began falling much faster. He reasoned that the molecules lost more molecular cohesion faster when external pressure was applied mechanically.

THUMP! He fell through the ceiling of the basement just as the effect wore off. The floor was very hard concrete and Nimnul made a note of the idea that shoulder pads would be necessary in the future if he had to do that again.

He thought, Hmmm…again… He turned the device upon himself and threw away the net. He activated the device, which made the same low-pitched sound. He pushed his hand against the solid wall of the basement and pushed. His hand slowly went through!

Smiling sinisterly, he activated the device again, doubling the effect.

Later, back at Ranger Headquarters, our heroes entered through the front door feeling down. Monty walked into the kitchen without a word to the others. They all knew that this was not the time to say anything to him. Zipper flew up to the ceiling to recline against the upper corner of the room. This was his person interpretation of ‘give me my space’.

Gadget sat down heavily in front of the P.D.A. and began running unnecessary system diagnostics. Chip flopped down on the couch, not moving. He stared at the ceiling in a grumpy mood. Subconsciously, he felt that if he stared long enough at nothing in general then the clutter in his brain would organize itself.

Dale came in last, shutting the door behind himself. He was the least upset by the events in the museum, but he wasn’t happy. He decided that he needed to something leader-ish.

He asked in general, “What is wrong with everybody?”

Chip snapped at his best friend, “What do you think is wrong? Nimnul’s unstoppable, that’s what! He got a device that can not only let him walk through walls, but now he can escape any trap.”

Gadget mumbled, distracted, “He probably doesn’t even care if he suffers some kind of radiation as a side-effect as long as he gets his results.”

Dale pointed out, “We stopped him from taking the jewels. He won’t be trying to steal them now that the new fancy security system is in place.”

The detective stood up sharply, his temper flaring, “That doesn’t matter! He’s unstoppable!”

The red-nosed one stood his ground, planting his fists on his hips. He spoke, “No one’s unstoppable. We just need to step up and be better.”

The fedora-wearing chipmunk walked up to Dale and shouted, “This isn’t one of your stupid comics, dummy! This is the real world! Real problems! Real criminals! Unless some other human scientist comes up with a way to counter Nimnul’s device, then he’s won! We can’t capture him!”

Dale reasoned very calmly, “Chip, if you’ve run out of ideas then it’s time for mine. You don’t seem to think that comics can help us, but I say they can. Nimnul is living out the stories of his favorite character. We need to use that to our advantage.”

The leather-clad chipmunk walked away to stare at the city map angrily. He griped, “Fine! You want to be leader so badly? You take care of this! Whatcha gonna do, Mr. Superhero?!”

The Hawaiian-clad Ranger explained, “You say Nimnul’s invincible because he has a toy.” Before the others could correct him, he elucidated, “A powerful toy, to be sure, but just a toy. It’s a gizmo, nothing more. There’s lots of villains who seem invincible because they have powerful toys. Even heroes have their gizmos, but it’s the person that’s the hero, not the toy. All we have to do is take away Nimnul’s toy and he’s just a crackpot shrimp again.”

Gadget offered, “Well sure, if you want to think of it that way. But how are you going to take it away from him?”

Dale stated, “It’s obvious. The only way to take it away from him is when he least expects it. That’s when he thinks he’s alone in his hideout. Instead of wandering all over the city, hoping to catch him off-guard, I say we waltz into his hideout when he’s there.”

Chip turned around to stare at his best friend. He challenged, “How are you going to know where his hideout is? Even if we narrow our search, it’s still four human city blocks and we don’t even know when he’s at home to confirm it!”

The red-nosed one smiles and said, “We’ll get him to tell us personally. We’ll plant a tracer on him and follow to the signal right to his hideout. Once he’s there, we wait until he puts his device away and then sabotage it.”

The black-nosed chipmunk raged inside. Such a simple, typical comic book plan was going to capture a master criminal?

His brain pointed out a possible flaw, which he spoke aloud. “Is this what Dr. Fantastico’s nemesis does? If so, he’ll be expecting it.”

The chipmunk in the Hawaiian shirt replied smoothly, “Nope. Dr. Fantastico’s nemesis is the Orange Flashlight. He’s would use his Orange Energy to follow the sound of Dr. Fantastico’s heartbeat or maybe use the flashlight to follow his guilty footprints back to his lair. Since we can’t do either of those, we should use what no one uses against him. The real Dr. Fantastico would never fall for such a trick, so Nimnul would be blind to it.”

Monty slowly came out of the kitchen to pay closer attention. This almost sounded like a decent plan. Zipper focused his attention on Dale. The chipmunk was on a roll.

Gadget speculated, “Well, he did mention that his wristwatch still functioned well after passing it through destabilized matter. Since we found the empty net in the basement below the display case, we can assume that Nimnul used the device to escape through the foundation. If multiple blasts by the ray didn’t short it out before tonight, then the math suggests that the blasts focused on the wristwatch wouldn’t cause any extra damage so a tracer that’s been sealed against E.M.P. damage would also keep functioning while undertheeffectofthemoleculardestabilizeraslongasitsownfrequencymatchnimnul…”

Chip reached over to place his paw on Gadget’s shoulder. She blushed in embarrassment and walked away towards her workshop.

She called over her shoulder, “It’ll be ready before morning!”

Dale called back, “Get some sleep tonight! We don’t know when Nimnul’s gonna hit his next target.”

The detective calmed down, humbled before his best friend and mentor. He said, “Sorry about yelling at you, Dale. I just…just don’t like being out of my element. You do realize that for this to work, we need to know where he’ll strike next.”

The red-nosed one walked his friend back over to the city map and asked, “What are all the places in your circle-thingy that Nimnul hasn’t robbed and is at least rich enough to make a dent in his debt to the Ratskiwatski mob?”

Chip wrote up the list of addresses. It was surprisingly short. He said, “Just the Savings & Loan and the Federal Depository.”

Dale suggested, “Nimnul’s been foiled twice. His master plan has been upset. He’s getting desperate.”

The fedora-clad chipmunk finished the thought, “He’ll go to the place that’s easier. He’ll never carry enough gold from the Federal Depository to pay off the mob, so he’ll go for lighter stacks of paper. He’s going to hit the Savings & Loan!”

The Hawaiian-clad Ranger chuckled and bragged, “And you said comic books would rot my brain! Heh, heh, hee! I’m willing to believe that Nimnul’s fancy device needs lots of power, so he’ll probably spend tonight charging it and researching the floorplan. So we have to be there tomorrow and stake out the place until closing.”

Monty disappeared back into the kitchen with a smile. He said, “Sounds loike we need some kinda hero’s feast tonight to make ready fer tomorrow. Oi’m gonna make me special two-layer six-cheese three-pepper pizza fer good luck. C’mon, Zip, lend me a wing, will ya?” The noble fly sped off to join his friend in the kitchen.

Chip smiled for the first time since he got home. He complimented, “Great plan, Dale. I really underestimated you. I feel like we can take on Nimnul anytime, anywhere now!”

Dale patted his best friend on his shoulder and chuckled, saying, “We’ll make a superhero out of you yet, Chip.”

The next day, the late afternoon was hot. The sun slowly seemed to start its gentle descent towards the horizon even though sunset was hours off. A lone shadow moved through the alley behind the Savings & Loan just down the street from the museum. The shadow was short and stocky, and seemed to grow a strange appendage with a ray emitter on the end of it.

A finger flipped a new switch on the back of the device. A finger pulled a trigger-like device and the machine emitted a high-pitched sound. The body which cast the shadow walked right into the solid brick wall, pushing through as if it were made of gelatin.

Once through to the other side, the figure reached up to push a small button on the miner’s helmet he wore. A clicking sound heralded a bright flash of light, showing bags and stacks of money.

Professor Nimnul laughed, “Hoo, hoo, hoo! Those fools think that the vault door is the only security this money needs. They’ll learn their lesson about underestimating Norton Nimnul!”

He took a few steps forward towards the nearest shelf of money. Suddenly, the sound of shuffling paper sound from his feet and his shoes suddenly seemed tangled.

The scientist looked down and blurted, “What the?” The helmet illuminated his feet, showing that they were stuck fast to a large piece of flypaper. Suddenly, the faint sound of a police siren echoed from within the vault.

Panicking, Nimnul screamed, “No! How did they find me?! I’m too smart to be caught!” The stocky scientist pulled with his right foot and pushed with his left. Slowly, his right shoe came free and partially stuck to the floor.

He quickly flipped the new switch on the back of the molecular destabilizer and shooed away a stray fly that had wandered into the bank vault. He pulled the trigger and a low-pitched sound echoed inside the vault. He then stumbled out of the vault and ran away down the alley, losing height with each step and leaving the flypaper back in the vault. Soon, he was swimming through the asphalt towards a nearby building’s basement. He would plan his further escape from there.

Back in the vault, a group of animals cheered their hidden victory.

Dale chuckled and said, “Great sound effects, Monty. Where did you learn that?”

The rotund Aussie boasted, “Me dad was a great prankster, he was. Taught me all sorts o’ different calls ta scare most anyone.”

Chip spoke up, “Good job planting the tracer on him, Zipper. He never suspected a thing.”

The speedy fly just waved off the thanks. He buzzed that it was just part of his job. However, he silently reveled in the praise. It wasn’t every day that his insect appearance was an advantage.

Gadget declared, “Good, now get going, everyone! Monty, start the Rangerwing’s engines. I’ll un-hot-wire this security system and re-set it.”

The Rangerwing took off from the Savings & Loan to turn due east, towards the docks. Chip and Dale held on to the tracking device that Gadget had made out of an old compass and miniature radio receiver she had salvaged form a late-night trip to Transistor Shack.

Chip called out, “Right a little more, Gadget! Right! Now left! There, perfect!”

Gadget called out, “We’ve already passed your city blocks two streets ago!”

Dale trumpeted his ingenuity, “I told ya he wasn’t gonna fall for old tricks!”

Chip countered playfully, “How old is this trick?”

Upon seeing Chip’s silly grin, Dale frowned and exuded humility. He just watched the tracker until the blip seemed to stop, then it drifted towards the center.

He called out, “Gadget! He’s stopped, directly ahead of us!”

Monty looked down from the co-pilot’s seat and sighted the docks and their warehouses. He yelled over the sound of the engines and a stray crosswind, “There’s a couple o’ warehouses near tha Crossed Cardinals it could be!”

The detective looked over his shoulder to the noble fly, hanging onto the plunger gun in the rear. He ordered, “Zipper, we’ll circle here! Go look in windows and see which one it is!”

The speedy insect saluted, and then trumpeted. He sped off towards the ground on a straight line trajectory to see which warehouses were suspect.

A few minutes later, the Rangerwing landed on top of an empty warehouse marked ‘condemned’. Chip looked across the walkway to see a functioning warehouse with a very familiar sign.

He griped, “Crossed Cardinals. Why do I keep coming back to this place?”

Gadget sniffed sadly and then controlled herself. She mumbled, “Maybe if the Siamese Cats are gone, then they’ll close down.”

Dale mentioned gently to everyone, “Just keep your mind focused on the job at hand. Never mind about Crossed Cardinals or Siamese Cats. Let’s just think about Nimnul tonight.”

Zipper pointed out an old connection.

Monty agreed, “Yeah, mate. What if it turns out that ol’ Nimnul’s workin’ fer them mangy fleabags?”

Dale cryptically answered, “You worry about Nimnul. I’ll worry about the Siamese Cats.” The others looked at each other in confusion. Could Dale really be a planning dynamo when he was inspired?

Chip pulled several fishing line grapples from the storage compartment of the Rangerwing. Each Ranger took a line and secured it to the side of the building. Throwing the lines down the side of the building, the mammals scaled the building down to the alley window on the first floor. The fly just flew down and hovered. As the others slid down, Zipper squeaked an ‘all clear’ signal.

The Rescue Rangers congregated on the outside windowsill, looking into the building. Inside warehouse, they beheld a fire hazard just waiting to happen. Nimnul had been stealing and hoarding electronics from many sources. There were exposed wires and the fuse box had been opened to allow his complicated tapping of the power grid. There were boxes of oily rags next to piles of discarded pizza boxes on top of used boxes for ‘Warm Pockets’. In a corner of the room, Nimnul lay sleeping on an old, raggy couch. Next to him, on the floor, lay his molecular destabilizer and a large pile of something covered by a grease-streaked tarp.

The fedora-wearing chipmunk asked peevishly, “Does that look like Dr. Fantastico to you?”

The red-nosed chipmunk replied in wonder, “Actually, it kinda does look like him in his lair on a bad day.”

The blonde inventor stated, “Let’s just get in there and get this over with. I have a bad feeling about going in here. Cover me while I try to sabotage the molecular destabilizer.”

Monty grabbed the frame of the window and pulled up with all his might. The window creaked a little, but Nimnul did not stir. The others walked inside quietly, dropping down to the floor. The rugged adventurer let himself inside and then set the window down again.

The Rescue Rangers fanned out, seeking cover behind various devices that had been scavenged for parts. Several animatronic statues lay in pieces. A pair of floodlights had been taken from a used car lot. Three lawn mowers sat upside down, giving the Rangers pause as to moving near them. A pair of refrigerators had their front doors taken off and duct-taped front-to-front. No one could figure out how to put anything in or take anything out. They began to wonder if Nimnul had started to lose his touch.

Gadget raced up to the molecular destabilizer, which had been plugged into a wall outlet that had been pulled from the wall and connected to the inverted refrigerators. She shook her head, marveling at the shoddy wiring done by the so-called genius.

She began pulling at the cowling on the rear of the device and looking inside. The coverings came off with little struggle and the inside was a maze of wires and connectors. She began pulling on what she felt were the primary connectors that linked the capacitor to the preliminary energy collectors.

ZAP! A small, loud electrical discharge flung the inventor into a pile of pizza boxes, where she struck a pile of empty paint cans. CRASH! The paint cans collapsed, burying her and waking the professor.

“Hu-huh, what?” He looked around, not seeing anything. He reached into his lab coat’s front pocket and pulled out his glasses. Putting them on, he looked around again.

Chip hissed as loudly as he dared, “Scatter!” The Rangers all obeyed quickly.

Nimnul didn’t see anything, but he had an icky feeling in the back of his brain…and that usually meant rodents! He looked down at his device, only to see the rear cowling off and of the primary connectors burned out! He collected the device and stood up. He pulled the tarp off of the pile of…a robot guinea pig!

He tapped it on the head and barked out, “Activate!” The eyes lit up with a bright yellow glow and the robot stood up on its hind legs.

Dale started to freak out, “He’s build a killer robot, just like in the last issue!”

Monty pointed out, “That’s tha robot body he used ta have Buzz in. How does it work without a brain?”

Gadget crawled out of the pile of paint cans, grateful that they were empty. She guessed, “He must have just installed a computer for a brain. We’ve got to shut it down!”

Chip said, “Just be hidden and he won’t find us.”

Nimnul ordered, “Track vermin by sound!”

The robot hunkered down on all fours and reported in a low-quality electronic voice, “Five unregistered heartbeats detected.”

The Rescue Rangers felt their blood freeze. If that thing could hear their heartbeats, then it definitely heard their words!

Nimnul ranted, “Those disgusting lower life forms are always getting in my way! Why are they getting in my way?! Are they trying to get me killed by the Ratskiwatski mob?! Kill them, robot!”

The robot guinea pig ran like it was motivated, crashing into every pile of junk around just to trample the intruders. The Rescue Rangers scattered, running around as randomly as subatomic particles in solar plasma. Nimnul started fiddling with his device, trying to bypass the burnt connector and regain its primary firing function.

Gadget called out, “Guys, I need to get to that device before Nimnul uses it to escape! We may never get another chance at this!”

Chip thought up a desperate plan he thought would never work. He wondered, Then again, those kinds of plans always do something. He shouted, “Monty, you and me distract the robot! Zipper, you and Dale attack Nimnul and make him panic! Gadget, do your thing!”

Dale charged right for Nimnul, aiming for his leg. Zipper flew up and buzzed around his eyes. Nimnul started gasping at how close Zipper actually came to touching his eyeballs.

“Ah, vermin! Smelly, disgusting, disease-ridden vermin! Get away from me, you refuse-eating fly!” He tried to swat Zipper, but the clever fly knew those tricks and avoided them. Dale reached the mad scientist’s ankle and jumped onto it. He pulled down the sock and chomped with his teeth.

Nimnul yelped, “Ow-hoo-hoo!” He then kicked out on reflex, striking Dale in the gut. The Hawaiian-clad chipmunk soared through the air with the greatest of ease to land on top of a floodlight. SPLAT!

Chip ran up in front of the robot then dashed off to the right. The robot turned to face Chip and raised a mechanical paw. Monty, following directly behind Chip’s charge, dragged a heavy wrench right up to the exposed head. He hoisted the wrench in a display of strength and then brought it down upon the robot’s cranium. BONG!!!

Mechanical shock waves travelled up the wrench and then painfully into Monty’s arms. On reflex, he dropped the wrench. The robot guinea pig turned its attention to Monty, who began running to the left.

The seasoned adventurer shouted, “That’s armor’s too strong fer tools, mate!”

Chip scrambled around the junk, searching. He shouted back, “Try to find some strong rope or cable to tie up the legs!”

Zipper was having less luck keeping Nimnul occupied. The frenzied scientist came awfully close to swatting the noble fly. He had to widen his patterns to avoid getting hit. This allowed Nimnul to spot Gadget attacking his molecular destabilizer’s wiring again.

He whined, “More vermin! Am I cursed to constantly be under attack by these wretched things?” He then picked up the device and swung it in a tight arc in front of him. Losing her grip on the next connector, Gadget flew through the air end-over-tail, landing in a small pile next to the floodlight Dale landed on.

She crawled out, feeling worse for the wear. “Ouch! I think I landed on a discarded washboard. I’ve never felt so chafed and clean at the same time.” Tangled in a pile of colored plastic wrap, the blonde inventor rolled out of the pile.

Dale stood up on his floodlight and surveyed the battle. Time was running out. If Nimnul could activate his device, all was for naught. He noticed the blonde mouse struggling with the plastic wrap and saw that it was of the orange variety. An idea struck him.

He called out, “Gadget! Toss up that plastic and get this light ready! I think I can stun Nimnul before he gets away!”

Not really seeing how Dale’s mind could believe such things at this point, Gadget merely spun out of the plastic wrap and then tossed one end of it up to Dale. She then ran in back of the light to inspect it. It seemed intact, just not plugged in. She quickly located the plug and dragged it over to the pair of refrigerators, hoping that it was a generator of stable construction.

Dale took his end of the plastic wrap and then stretched it over the front of the floodlight, making sure to use extra to wrap around all uncovered spots. He then stood on top of the floodlight, looking for the switch to turn it on. There it was, right below him. Perfect!

CLICK! The sound of Gadget unplugging the recharger on Nimnul’s device sounded like music to his ears. CLICK! The sound of her plugging in the floodlight was even better. BAM! The sound of the robot guinea pig’s metal paw missing Chip’s skull by only a fur’s width sounded like the worst thing in the world to him. He saw the robot cornering Chip and Monty, using its paws to cut off escape. The mechanical monstrosity reared its head up, ready to smash them to death.

Dale glared at Nimnul and then chattered louder than he had ever chattered to a human before. The crazy scientist looked towards the sound of the chattering. There on one of his floodlights was a chipmunk, staring him down!

Nimnul ignored Zipper and marched over to stand boldly in front of the chipmunk. He said angrily, “Oh, you think you’re so tough, do you? Well, face the might of a superior species, rodent!” He then aimed the device right at Dale, turning a knob to its fullest setting.

He gloated, “Let’s see how your central nervous system stays cohesive when its molecular structure is so destabilized that it falls apart!”

Gadget gasped. Under that much power, Dale could die! She cried out desperately, “DALE!!! Get away from him!”

Instead, the red-nosed chipmunk reached into his shirt and pulled out a rodent-sized toy flashlight. He calmly aimed it at Nimnul’s face.

Norton Nimnul, brilliant scientist of the criminal world, recognized the stance and prop. He gasped in astonishment that there was still one left in the world! His resolve faltered just a bit and he took an involuntary half-step back.

He thought to himself, No, it can’t be. Has the Orange Flashlight come to thwart my brilliant plans? Wait a minute. Does the Flashlight Force hire chipmunks?

Dale then spoke loudly and enunciated every word like a cherished oath:

“In brightest dawn, in darkest night,

no one shall suffer fright.

Let those who conceal evil’s blight

be blind by me, the Orange Flashlight!!!”

He then jumped off the top of the floodlight and landed on the activation switch. WHOOSH!!! Orange light filled the room, covering Nimnul entirely.

He threw his right hand in front of his face, trying in vain to block the painful light. His left hand, carrying the molecular destabilizer, flailed in panic.

He cried out in shock and pain, “YEEEEEOW! It’s so bright…and orange! Stop it! Stop it, I can’t see!” He backpedaled away from the floodlight.

BUMP! Nimnul’s back hit the wall.

CRACK! Nimnul’s device pointed to the left and hit the wall.

POP! A high-pitched sound filled the room.

SIZZLE! The molecular destabilizer burst into flames from overheating.

BANG! The ray hit the robot’s head, causing it to explode from energy overload.

KNOCK! Nimnul’s head hit the wall, dazing him. He dropped the useless device in his hand and fell down to the floor. Sparks from the molecular destabilizer flew around the room, igniting piles of oily trash. Several small flames sprang up.

Chip and Monty ran away from the broken robot and towards the floodlight. Zipper flew down to reunite with his friends. Dale and Gadget came over to complete the roster.

Chip spoke, openly confounded, “Dale, how did you know Nimnul would react like that to your trick?”

Dale replied proudly, “No trick, Chip. Remember, Nimnul’s a comic book geek…I mean ‘enthusiast’ like myself. He was acting like Dr. Fantastico, so we had to use Dr. Fantastico’s enemies to keep him occupied. The Orange Flashlight has thwarted his schemes more than any other member of the Fellowship of Heroes. If he thought he was being called out, he would answer the challenge if only to prove how superior he was, just like Dr. Fantastico.”

Gadget stared at the floodlight and murmured distracted, “I can’t help but feel like I’ve built something like this for you before. However, I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

Monty felt that familiar shiver crawl up his tail and he ushered the others. “C’mon, mates! This place is gonna get hotter than me pressure cooker soon.”

Chip tugged his hat and stated, “Right! Zipper, hit the fire alarm and let’s all get out of here!”

As the Rangerwing flew home, Chip congratulated his best friend. “Dale, I gotta hand it to you! I didn’t think you could handle it, but you really did solve this case. You even figured out Nimnul’s weakness even when I refused to believe it. I’m sorry we all didn’t take you more seriously.”

Monty slapped Dale powerfully on the back, laughing, “Gyeah-ha-ha! Did you see tha look on ol’ Nimnul’s face when he thought he was hit by special powers? He nearly soiled himself!”

Zipper laughed so powerfully, he doubled over.

Gadget smiled and said, “Now he’s back where he belongs and the police may even get him to testify against the Ratskiwatski Mob. I’d call this an official Job Well Done.”

Dale interrupted, “Almost, Gadget. We have just one more thing to do.”

A confused Chip asked, “What are we going to do tonight, Dale?”

The red-nosed one almost answered the quip on reflex, but forced himself to speak plainly. “We’re going to use some of that information we learned on the pirate ship to our advantage. The Siamese Cats will be expecting us to strike back at them in a fit of revenge. Instead, I have a nicer way to get them to leave the city.”

Monty asked in a nasty and enthusiastic voice, “What are ya gonna to them fleabags, mate? You gonna burn their homes? Beat up all their thugs? Give out their private phone numbers over tha internet?”

The Hawaiian-clad hero smugly answered, “Give them their heart’s desire.”

Later, when the fire trucks and the police cars would arrive, they would find a condemned warehouse engulfed in a blazing inferno. Instead of putting out the fire, the firefighters concentrated on making sure the fire didn’t spread and letting the building fall straight down.

The police would find a soot-stained Norton Nimnul crawling away from the scene. They arrested him immediate and read him his rights. However, upon hearing his powerful coughing, they called for an ambulance to take him to the hospital.

After being treated for smoke inhalation for three days, Norton Nimnul would go to the psychiatric wing for examination. The human doctors were worried that their latest patient was crying in his sleep at night about how a comic book character the size of a chipmunk was going to turn him into the mob.

Aboard their yacht, the Siamese Twins were frowning and pouting. Reflecting upon the last news events of the past few weeks had been upsetting to them. Not only had the leader of the Rescue Rangers made a full recovery, but their inventor had actually escaped execution by mere luck! Then she was the one who found and healed the mind of her leader. More luck! Word on the street suggested they may even marry in the fall months. What an insult to their honor!

A tall, male Siamese cat fluidly walked into their presence carrying a package. The pair of females eyed him carefully, savoring the attractive sight before them. They controlled their facial expressions as to not seem like they were leering. That would be disgraceful.

The male unconsciously tightened the knot on his red sash and bowed respectfully. He reported, “Honorable Ones, our spies report that the human who created the clones has been arrested by the human authorities.”

The Siamese Cats sniffed haughtily, “Wh-what do we-e ca-care about that-at f-failure of a scientist-ist, Niran?”

Niran smiled gently and said, “I do not know. I am merely following instructions. There is no other news. However, this package has arrived for you.” He then placed the package on the floor and bowed low. He walked gracefully out of the room.

The ladies stared after him for several moments before turning their attention to the package. They sniffed it cautiously, as a bomb from an enemy would not be unheard of. Smelling no trace of anything harmful, they opened it.

Inside was a pack of legal papers bearing the seal of Thailand as well as a hand-written letter. They read the letter, which was addressed to them directly.

Greetings, Honorable Jintana Na Chiangmai and Honorable Antali Na Chiangmai, daughters of Royal Prince Tarrin Yugula.

We have recently been made aware of your unfortunate displacement from your birth land and have taken it upon our organization to assist you in the triumphant return of your noble house to Thailand (formerly Siam).

In the rare event that you have been unable to communicate with your homeland directly in the past years, we wish to provide evidence that General Luang Channarong is no longer in power and has been superseded by a democratic government.

A senator is selected by the animal voters in each district of each territory. Any citizen of legal age may attempt to become a senator provided they register with the territory office. A prime minister oversees the collection of senators to keep discussions and voting on track. This form of constitutional government somewhat parallels the human government, but it does have its own style.

Should you choose the much smoother path of attempting to reclaim your heritage and lost citizenship legally, you may contact our embassy in Bangkok and show our ambassador this letter. He will assist you in returning to Chiangmai where the current governor has been made aware of your tragic story. In fact, we have researched your flight from assassination and have revealed the truth to the public via the internet. You have gained quite a lot of honest sympathy for your situation.

As the current governor is old and has expressed interest in finding suitable replacements to endorse in future elections, this seems like a very reasonable option. Studying to achieve a degree in law would not hurt your bright futures, either.

As for your dignity, please rest assured that it is safe with us. Our organization is one of law and right. You should have come to us as soon as you reached America instead of choosing the disappointing path that would have shamed your beloved father.

We are at your disposal should you wish a more civilized option.

Yours truly,

Bernard and Miss Bianca

Rescue Aid Society

Later, as the sun began to set, a fuel barge left the luxury yacht. The ship started up its engines and began to move. The rudder swung fully to the right, causing the ship to turn about.

If a pair of cats could influence a crew of humans to follow orders without question, imagine how grand it would be to become legal policy-makers in their home country with the people cheering their triumphant return instead of resisting with weapons!

THE END